by Michael dEstries
Categories: .

notice11.jpgIn the spirit of stealing great ideas from other people, we thought it would be prudent to use the Notice Board from The Colbert Show to start a weekly watch list of anti-green newsmakers. So, here we go! You’ve been warned, America.

Up high on the list this week are celebrities — from Clooney to Roberts — and their private plane gas-guzzling habits. Sure, we love them for their activist efforts, but have to call them on questionable activities like the above. Plus, I wouldn’t mind sitting next to Jennifer Lopez on a commercial jet…in coach.

Next up is Paris Hilton. She is listed on the board this week because she sucks something terrible.

After Paris is the dreaded Bottled Water. As the latest celebrity product to grace every show from the O.C. to Grey’s Anatomy, bottled water is living the American dream and destroying our environment. Sure, it’s great to drink from something with a pretty label and a ‘does a body good’ placebo effect, but really people, give it up already. There’s a water fountain to your left for free.

Next! Zach Braff. The latest ‘every guy can relate to’ actor is known for his great scripts and and good acting. However, while he may drive a Prius in the movies, once the makeup comes, off that thing turns into a Toyota Tundra with incredibly shitty mileage. Take some advice from a fellow doctor, Zach, and take home your movie co-star.

Finally, we come to the country of Iceland. In a bold decision, the touristry board thought it would be thrilling to take their thriving whale-watching industry and instead resume hunting the poor creatures that have given them so much cash over the last 13 years. Since there are very few celebrities to come out of Iceland, we’re going to have to place blame on popular pop-star Björk for not speaking out (yet) on the matter. Björk, it’s up to you. If you can’t save the Iceland whales, probably someone a lot more influential and in the A-List can. But we’re not holding our breath. Now we know how Iceland plans on supplementing its future lack of gasoline: with whale oil. You bastards.

About Michael dEstries

Michael has been blogging since 2005 on issues such as sustainability, renewable energy, philanthropy, and healthy living. He regularly contributes to a slew of publications, as well as consulting with companies looking to make an impact using the web and social media. He lives in Ithaca, NY with his family on an apple farm.

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