Noel Gallagher Probably Hates You
Noel Gallagher of Britpop group Oasis (ahh 1996) managed to make a whole lot of enemies today. Let’s see, in little more than one breath he managed to insult environmentalists, soldiers, Elton John, Robbie Williams, Tony Blair, and his brother, Liam. We have to give him props for that – he probably set some sort of world record. In fact, we’re not sure if there is any human being walking on this planet that he doesn’t hate.
We’ll start of with the environmentalists:
Greens are f***ing hippies with no place in the world. Theyâ€™ve been telling us for the last 50 years not to use aerosols or the skyâ€™s going to fall in. Well – youâ€™re the scientists, do something about it. How do you suggest we get 50million Chinese not to have a fridge? Or get 700million Americans to stop using their big stupid cars. The only way its going to happen is if the sky falls in. Until is does, these Greens are wasting their time. Iâ€™m glad – because in 50 years time Iâ€™ll be dead.
Though it’s not like he doesn’t care for the environment.
Well – I haven’t got a car. So I’m doing my bit for the environment. I walk everywhere. I only live round the corner from Central London and I walk everywhere. That’s my bit. I take public transport and I walk. So I don’t clog up the roads with petrol fumes and all that stuff. That’s what I’m doing.
Elton & Robbie are up next:
If I run out of milk, I go to the supermarket. And I queue up like everybody else. Can you imagine Elton John queuing up to by milk?Â The thing is – these stars like Robbie Williams and Elton John and all the rest of that lot – what are they afraid of? Are they actually afraid somebody might actually say hello to them in the street? There ainâ€™t no axe-wielding celebrity murderers out there. It’s not like that. It p*sses me off that they lock themselves off from humanity. And then you see these people on telly and you wonder why they’re a**eholes.
Now the soldiers:
You get a million people walking through Hyde Park — ‘don’t send the troops’ and all that. The troops want to go, all they want to do is fight! They’re soldiers. They’re loving it, until they get shot — then they’re claiming compensation. If you’re bothered about getting shot — here’s a thing — don’t join the army.
This is how he promotes the release of the Oasis Greatest Hits album: Stop the Clocks. Controversy works, I mean, we’re talking about it. But I don’t know if it will help or hinder album sales. Sounds to me like Noel has completely lost it. He’s pissed at everybody, probably including you. And don’t think that just because you see him in the supermarket means that you can go up and talk to him, and maybe ask for an autograph. He’ll probably say,Â “No.” Why not? “Cause I’m not in the fu**ing mood, that’s why. Dead simple.â€
Oh well. He’ll be dead in 50 years anyway.
A big Thanksgiving thank youÂ to Celebitchy for the tip.