by christine
Categories: People.

Best new method to lessen CO2 emissions after last bar call: rehab. As of recently, Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears fans under the influence jumped onto the rehabilitation bandwagon and off major roadways and headed for the nearest drug and alcohol treatment centers nationwide.

According to, major rehab facilities’ admissions increased within the past two months out of high-celebrities seeking professional help. Patients who have abused drugs or alcohol in the past are now more inclined to admit to their problems and self-destructive vices.

“We are receiving numerous calls from new patients who want to know exactly what kind of treatment Lindsey Lohan is getting, and if our centers offer similar services” stated John Showel of ChooseHelp Treatment centers have luxury locations in both California and Florida “The public closely follows these stars on a daily basis, so it’s no surprise that these new patients often with years of hidden addiction are now reaching out and seeking treatment like their idols” said Showel.

In recent years, Ben Affleck, Courtney Love, Charlie Sheen, Winona Ryder, Matthew Perry, Brett Farve, and Darryl Strawberry each sought help for their addictions. Apart from finding proper care, the 2 a.m. drive after the last call will help lessen carbon dioxide emissions from aimless homeward-bound trips and take the load off of junk yards fill to capacity with mangled cars.

Despite the partying hoop-la, props for Lohan and Spears for setting an example out themselves—and for others.

  • Memphiz

    I wonder if regular folks could ever afford rehabs like