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Spice Girls Reunion Tour Features Five Private Jets

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Just when you thought the upcoming Spice Girls Reunion Tour couldn’t be any more worthless for humanity, it now appears that the planet is going to suffer the consequences as well. Woe be the times.

According to reports issued earlier this month, each member of the Spice Girls will be given their own private jet to accommodate their entourage of assistants, family members, and massive egos. Rumors (or just plain good ‘ole intuition) have indicated that the separate jets symbolize the still shaky relationship between the group that caused them to split up in the first place. Like Lord Voldemort’s soul in the Harry Potter series, these horcruxes of musical drudgery have somehow managed to persevere through repeated worldwide insistence that we all have better things to listen to.

According to the green site, greenhelpline.com, the Spice Girls will generate an immense 9,500 tons of carbon dioxide through flights alone. From the article,

“‘It’s everyone’s responsibility to limit the damage we’re doing to our planet. But clearly, some celebrities feel they don’t count. While we have events like Live Earth to raise awareness, many stars are still taking huge liberties such as using private jets,’ site founder Lambie was quoted as saying.”

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