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Paris Hilton To Be Frozen, Waste Even More Energy When Dead

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There are some obvious reasons for being frozen. Austin Powers is a perfect example. You never know when Dr. Evil is going to threaten the world.

However, freezing Paris Hilton — much like Global Warming — is not something we should leave for our children and their children to have to deal with. Alas. Hilton has told the world that she would like to be cryogenically frozen to preserve her life for thousands of years to come. In her own words,

“‘It’s so cool. Almost all the cells in the body are still alive when death is pronounced. And if you’re immediately cooled, you can be perfectly preserved. My life could be extended by hundreds and thousands of years.'”

Oh. Dear. God. It gets better (of course), Hilton would also like to be frozen with her favorite pets, including her famous Chihuahua Tinkerbell and new mutt, Yorkshire Terrier Cinderella. Awesome.

It goes without saying that the field of cryogenics is very energy intensive. Keeping Ms. Hilton perpetually frozen should place a nice dent on energy consumption over the course of hundreds of years. Unless she decides to freeze herself now; which might technically even things out in place of her emissions over the next 60 or more years.

Climate change and Paris Hilton. I’m so sorry future.

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