by Michael dEstries
Categories: .

parisice.jpg

There are some obvious reasons for being frozen. Austin Powers is a perfect example. You never know when Dr. Evil is going to threaten the world.

However, freezing Paris Hilton — much like Global Warming — is not something we should leave for our children and their children to have to deal with. Alas. Hilton has told the world that she would like to be cryogenically frozen to preserve her life for thousands of years to come. In her own words,

“‘It’s so cool. Almost all the cells in the body are still alive when death is pronounced. And if you’re immediately cooled, you can be perfectly preserved. My life could be extended by hundreds and thousands of years.’”

Oh. Dear. God. It gets better (of course), Hilton would also like to be frozen with her favorite pets, including her famous Chihuahua Tinkerbell and new mutt, Yorkshire Terrier Cinderella. Awesome.

It goes without saying that the field of cryogenics is very energy intensive. Keeping Ms. Hilton perpetually frozen should place a nice dent on energy consumption over the course of hundreds of years. Unless she decides to freeze herself now; which might technically even things out in place of her emissions over the next 60 or more years.

Climate change and Paris Hilton. I’m so sorry future.

About Michael dEstries

Michael has been blogging since 2005 on issues such as sustainability, renewable energy, philanthropy, and healthy living. He regularly contributes to a slew of publications, as well as consulting with companies looking to make an impact using the web and social media. He lives in Ithaca, NY with his family on an apple farm.

View all posts by Michael dEstries →
  • AT

    And here we have an example of the press jumping on celebrity statements and interpreting them absurdly for the sake of entertainment. The article includes a quote that (I assume) is supposed to provide “proof” that she wants to be frozen. My interpretation is that Paris is talking hypothetically. “My life could be extended by hundreds and thousands of years.” does not mean “I want to be frozen”. It’s an indication that she thinks that cryogenics are cool, which they are. With a headline like that they should provide a more solid statement to back it up.

    Stupid celebrity rumors. Stupid tabloids.

  • http://www.ecorazzi.com michael

    Sorry, I meant to include this tid-bit which should provide a bit more “proof” of her intentions: “The hotel heiress is keen to live forever and has invested a large sum of money in the world’s biggest suspended animation cemetery, Cryonics Institute.”

    via http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/story/0,23663,22617724-10388,00.html?from=mostpop

  • Emily

    There are no words…

  • Alex

    Even though humans are not causing global warming, I think that it is quite wierd that she wants to be “frozen.” If you think that humans are causing global warming, then take this challenge: http://junkscience.com/
    If you can prove it’s true, then they will give you over $100,000.

    • TIP

      we could hope for a power failure!

  • unwyrm

    I saw a short-lived article yesterday on the BBC website, in which those well-known sponsors of rigorous science Bravo TV had bribed a ‘scientist’ to predict what mankind would become by the year 3000 (CE). He predicted an HG Wells-style scenario, with us dividing into ‘Eloi’ and ‘Moorlocks’. Taking the dogs along may not do Ms Hilton any favours…..

  • notrub1

    All that I could seriously add, after much soul searching and deep meditation……………..who really GIVES A FUCK

  • Pingback: Greenmonk Associates : Celebrity Gossip for Greener Outcomes: outstanding

  • Jason

    I’ve got a big freezer at my house. As long as someone is willing to chip in the twenty bucks a months it takes to run it, I’ll freeze her now.

  • Pingback: Unfortunately We’ll Always Have Paris « YouTumor

  • Pingback: Frozen Princess Paris « Brunette Bloggette

  • http://www.alcor.org A-2197

    We believe that intelligence, memories & personality are determined primarily by the structure & chemistry of the human brain.Our aim is to preserve the brain so faithfully that its unique identity will also be preserved,so that future science may be able to revive the individual.We realize that this is highly speculative, but we feel that human life is sufficiently precious to justify our attempt,even thought the outcome is unknown.
    Discover how leading-edge science at the Alcor Life Extension Foundation is getting closer to making the dream of a vastly extended lifespan come true and how our notion of “death” is shifting. This video included interviews with world-renowned scientists including Dr.Aubrey de Grey, Department of Genetics at the University of Cambridge, explaining how life can be cryopreserved on the verge of death and then revitalized, giving us a second chance at a long and productive life, and Dr. Ralph Merkle, Distinguished Professor of Computing at Georgia Tech, exploring how molecular-sized machines will be able to repair damage to your body from aging or the devastating effects of cancer and other illnesses, including frostbite.
    Bravo Paris !
    Mag & Steph from Quebec/CANADA
    ——————————
    Alcor Members & Happy to take a chance for see the Futur !!!

  • http://ratemyleftarm.com RateMyLeftArm.com

    Can we start now?

  • Street Pooch

    the Dog “Tinker bell” looks very very dangerous in that picture…