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Jennifer Aniston Recruits Tom Brady To Sell Dumb Water

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brady-insx.jpgJennifer Aniston understands that in order for people to fall for dishing out $3-$4 for a bottle of water, it has to be sexy. As a recent investor in Glaceau’s SmartWater — and the female advertising face for the brand — she’s learning the ropes of what it takes to dupe people into thinking tap is bland and bottled is good.

Her latest move is to recruit the quarterback of the New England Patriots, Tom Brady, as the male face of SmartWater. From the article,

Has Jennifer Aniston become, well, smarter since signing on as the new spokesperson of SmartWater last spring? We say yes! An insider tells us that as an investor in the company, Jen, 38, has made New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, 30, the male face of SmartWater in a deal rumored to net him $3 million to $5 million.”

Why did Brady sign up? Surely, it wasn’t for the money! Brady said he drinks Smartwater as an alternative to “sugary” drinks. “It’s a replacement product that’s better for you, whether I’m working out or for the morning when I wake up,” he said in an interview with USA Today. “If you’re going to put something in your body, it may as well be something that’s efficient.”

Right. Thank God SmartWater is around to provide this incredible product. How did we all survive before it?

Folks, products marketed and branded with names like “SmartWater” are luxury alternatives to something readily available. If you have crappy water, a.) please save yourself some cash and pick up gallon jugs of water from the supermarket or local co-op and then b.) petition the hell out of your municipalities to correct whatever is wrong with your water. Over 90 percent of water systems in the United States meet the EPA’s standards for tap water quality. Don’t be duped by people making big bucks off slick marketing!

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