Jennifer Aniston Recruits Tom Brady To Sell Dumb Water

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by Michael dEstries November 12, 2007
Categories: .

brady-insx.jpgJennifer Aniston understands that in order for people to fall for dishing out $3-$4 for a bottle of water, it has to be sexy. As a recent investor in Glaceau’s SmartWater — and the female advertising face for the brand — she’s learning the ropes of what it takes to dupe people into thinking tap is bland and bottled is good.

Her latest move is to recruit the quarterback of the New England Patriots, Tom Brady, as the male face of SmartWater. From the article,

“Has Jennifer Aniston become, well, smarter since signing on as the new spokesperson of SmartWater last spring? We say yes! An insider tells us that as an investor in the company, Jen, 38, has made New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, 30, the male face of SmartWater in a deal rumored to net him $3 million to $5 million.”

Why did Brady sign up? Surely, it wasn’t for the money! Brady said he drinks Smartwater as an alternative to “sugary” drinks. “It’s a replacement product that’s better for you, whether I’m working out or for the morning when I wake up,” he said in an interview with USA Today. “If you’re going to put something in your body, it may as well be something that’s efficient.”

Right. Thank God SmartWater is around to provide this incredible product. How did we all survive before it?

Folks, products marketed and branded with names like “SmartWater” are luxury alternatives to something readily available. If you have crappy water, a.) please save yourself some cash and pick up gallon jugs of water from the supermarket or local co-op and then b.) petition the hell out of your municipalities to correct whatever is wrong with your water. Over 90 percent of water systems in the United States meet the EPA’s standards for tap water quality. Don’t be duped by people making big bucks off slick marketing!

About Michael dEstries

Michael has been blogging since 2005 on issues such as sustainability, renewable energy, philanthropy, and healthy living. He regularly contributes to a slew of publications, as well as consulting with companies looking to make an impact using the web and social media. He lives in Ithaca, NY with his family on an apple farm.

View all posts by Michael dEstries →
  • http://lamarguerite.wordpress.com marguerite manteau-rao

    Thanks for the counter PR. Makes you wonder about the IQ of so called celebrities.

    But then, I just notice this ad on ecorazzi, just next to the box where I am typing in my comment. It reads,

    ‘Eco-friendly bottled water. Park City ice water, pure artesian water. high ph.new glacierpark takes 75% less energy to produce, recycles,occupies 96% less landfill space vs. pet bottle. 5 year landfill break=down, etc’

    Do you get the irony?

    The point is there is no need for bottled water, period. Bring your own bottle next time.

    marguerite
    http://lamarguerite.wordpress.com

  • karo

    What is it with you guys…you pay for your advertising with bottled water ads-are you mad that it’s not Smartwater ads….Lay off Brady and Aniston…No one is making you buy the water.And you are so wrong on the price-it costs about a dollar to a dollar twenty five for a 35 ounce bottle…And it is great water-good after exercising or just for drinking.

  • http://www.alternativeconsumer.com/ Ross

    Couple of things. Are people actually rising up to protest the trashing of celebrity endorsed bottled H2O? The “no one is making you buy it” logic has also sustained the tobacco industry for 30 years. Why did my man, Tom Brady, have to get involved with this whole phony water scam? Just keep throwing td’s Tommy and for God’s sake don’t date miz Aniston!

    Oh, you got a typo in the last line…

  • bigfan

    He is a cuttie! I love him very much! It is said he is single now! His profile was found on millionaire dating site WealthyRomance.com last week!

  • http://www.enlocale.com JJ

    I had a food related interaction with Brady once that would make him look like a genius here. The man is basically a bone head, what do you expect from a footballer? Did he do it for the money? Of course he did, and so does she! Otherwise they wouldn’t be celebrities, they would be empoverished do-gooders running non-profits in places that need to shape up their eating habits, like suburban Chicago, not L.A.

  • Stacy

    The way this was written is kind of silly.

    A: It’s called SmartWater because it has electrolytes..like in Gatorade.

    B: It doesn’t cost $3-4.

    If you want to discuss the problems behind plastic water bottles, then do that. This just made you sound uninformed.

  • http://www.lotuspadyogamats.com katy

    Wow, what dolts! But wow, Tom sure does look fine with that water in his hands, mmm, getting really, really thirsty…..

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  • karo

    Why such hatred for Smartwater-do you really hate Jennifer so much-now Tom?? At least write the correct price- you can buy a 35ml bottle for $1.25…It’s great to drink after a workout.Love that your site has Bottled Water ads.Can you say hypocrite????

  • K

    I drink this water on occasion, it cost a little more than $1. A far cry from $3 or $4. If it has electrolytes, I’d prefer it to Gatorade. Stop picking on these two celebrities for advertising it. Advertisement in general is a scam,look at the make-up commercials. Do we really think that if we buy certain brands that we’ll have faces that look like Halle Berry, Cindy Crawford, etc.? NO. They airbrush those models/celebrities! It’s all PHONY. The entire business.

  • Liana

    Oh Man – To the JA zombie fan – those “electrolytes” = salt.
    Gatorade is junk. This stuff is junk too. Overpriced junk.

  • http://ShadaoRacingInc.com Shadao

    Why are thay charging us Money for thing that as plentiful as water that we get for FREE!!! And not suprised money to use oxygen!!!

  • blah

    I like how you guys leave out the fact that SMARTwater is an ELECTROLYTE ENHANCED BEVERAGE- not just PLAIN WATER. same as gaterade. but yeh, gaterade is sugary, so this IS an alternative. geez, get the facts straight.

  • Haha

    Wow. Get your facts straight before you go on the attact. I agree with you that tap water is not bad for you, but inventing facts to prove your point makes you look silly. Get your facts straight on the price of smartwater. Also, if you are going to be knocking on bottled-water, having bottled-water ads makes you look like an idiot. You are obviously not an advocate for tap-water, you are simply an Aniston/Brady hater.

  • Emma

    Replenishing electrolytes is unnecessary after most work-outs. For someone who is seriously dehydrated, rehydration salts have a more precise balance of the various electrolytes than a commercial product like Gatorade or, presumably, SmartWater. Go ahead, pay money for something you don’t need, but I won’t.

  • Andy

    Yeah she’s so dumb, fancy netting herself an absolute fortune through clever marketing – she must be totally brain dead. It may be water, but it does contain electrolytes, is cheaper than you claim, and electrolytes are not merely salt – to whoever made that claim!
    Also, I believe Glaceau investors also include 50cent, who by the way netted himself a rather staggering 400 million dollars when it was bought by coca-cola. Not sure what JA got for her investment but I think it was probably a truck load too!

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