Do you loathe Wal-Mart as much as I do? Because I’m not going to lie to you here, I am an avid Wal-Mart hater! Maybe it’s the smell of pale, salty corndogs covered in high-fructose corn syrup infused dollar store condiments bouncing off the windowless industrial walls that turns me off. Or am I simply offended by that damn patronizing yellow smiley face circle that’s plastered on the back of every hand-me-down, cigarette-stained, dark blue vest that each union-less employee is forced to wear like tattoos at Auschwitz so as to add to my “shopping experience?” Or maybe it’s just a combo platter of both. Anyway, as you can imagine, I am always as shocked as you are when I hear the Wal-Gods are doing something precious for the environment.
Just this month, Wal-Mart held a meeting with U.S. mayors in Seattle and announced its plan to partner with former president Bill Clinton (my main man), and his Clinton Climate Initiative. In the past, The Clinton Climate Initiative has been praised by the likes of Barbara Streisand, Bill and Melinda Gates and Tony Blair. And now you can add Wal-Mart to that roster of good-doers (which is actually the step-cousin of evil-doers). In Seattle, Wal-Mart announced a commitment to help identify new green technology and to bring down the price of eco-friendly products such as lighting systems and energy-efficient building supplies so that more people can afford to go “green.” Moreover, they plan on using their new found enlightenment to take advantage of future eco-friendly alternatives in the lighting of their stores.
Oh great!! Do I have to change my stance on Wal-Mart now? I mean I have to give them a little sugar for at least stepping up to the plate and TRYING to make a difference, but even so, Wal-Mart could plant 5 billion trees, invent a magic car that runs only on positive thoughts and strap Dick Cheney on a spaceship to the moon and I STILL wouldn’t touch those corndogs!