If you’ve read my last three posts you probably think I have an old, white man fetish. Well I don’t! Indeed, I suspect an escaped Christmas elf of spiking the country club punch to account for all of this old man kindness of late.

In a recent announcement, Barron Hilton, Paris Hilton’s granddaddy, just announced that he will be giving 97 percent of his savings to charity. And how much is 97 percent of the ol’ Hilton billfold? Oh…just 2.3 BILLION DOLLARS!!!!!

The Conrad N. Hilton Foundation will be receiving the money and putting it in a charitable trust where it will raise the total value to 4.5 billion. And what about the poor Hilton family? After all is said and done, they will only get a measly 69 million to split amongst everyone!! Do you think Barron was trying to be clever with the 69 million, or was it just a coincidence? I’m talkin sex tape here, people!!

At the end of the day you gotta respect Barron- if for not only being one generous mother fuc#@*, for confidently rocking the name Barron for 80 years! In other news, I will be donating 97 percent of my savings to charity as well. Wait, how much is 97 percent of zero again?