Tom Cruise Spends A Bazillion Dollars On Oil

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by Michael Parrish DuDell January 4, 2008
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tomcruise_mtvpodium.jpg

Ok…maybe not a bazillion, but close to that. It’s just been reported that Tom Cruise spends one million dollars a year on gasoline. Did you hear that, Tom? Mother Earth just had a seizure.

Why so much cash on crude? Well, to fuel his 4 planes and numerous cars, of course. Oh, plus that freaky deaky Scientology hovercraft is a total gas guzzler.

The thing is, I hate writing mean stuff about people, and Tom Cruise really does seem like a decent guy. Plus, he has a reputation for being super generous with his cash o’ plenty. But seriously, if you spend a million dollars a year on oil, you basically leave me no choice!

Tom, let’s make a deal. If you sell one of your automobiles and give the money to a green charity, I will delete this post and in it’s place write an article called, “Tom Cruise Is Way Cooler Than I Will Ever Be!!!.” Oh, and I’ll even go to one of those Scientology orientation meetings. Seriously, I’m not even joking. Think about it.

via msnbc


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  • Jess

    Typical that you would comment on something like this, rather than on the millions of dollars he’s given to non-Scientology charities and other groups that help to improve the people’s lives. Don’t bother going to a Scientology orientation meeting. Critical journalists who only comment on bad things probably aren’t welcome.

  • Terryeo

    Now there’s a strange statistic. Something is missing. No single means of transport, running 24/7/365 can burn that much fuel, except maybe a large ocean liner, maybe.

  • Melissa

    I hope Cruise takes you up on the offer. That way you can come to a Scientology meeting and grace us with more of your bigoted comments.

  • parrish

    Whoa, Whoa, Whoa!!!! Guys… peace…chill out. Seriously, I’m not trying to hate all up on scientology…it was just joke. Jeez, isn’t there a chapter in Dianetics about humor? And Jess, I’m not a journalist…I’m a blogger. There’s a huge difference. Plus, I rarely comment on bad things, so give me a little breathing room okay, sugar?

    Here, to even out the playing field I’ll make fun of myself for a little bit. Let’s see, I’m a vegan and in college I got my degree in Musical Theater.

    Possible headlines describing my life:

    “When The Cute Girl Questioned,’ Vegetarian? Doesn’t That Make You Gay?’ Parrish responded, ‘Of Course Not…It’s Just Like In That Musical When….”

    How many vegans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    Two. One to screw it in and the other to check the ingredients.

    Ok, there, are you happy? Seriously ya’ll, just chilax. I’m sure L. Ron Hubbard was totally groovy.

  • gina

    he spent because his fucking wife is travelling like a mad bitch across the world for fashion shows and shopping; two times she did berlin to paris in the private jet in one day only for shopping!

    what a fucking bitch!

    then she is dilaping his money into clothes and co!

    fuck her, not him!

  • bob dobbs

    Yeah Jess, critical journalists who say bad things about scientology certainly are not welcomed. At best they can hope to get followed by private investigators or get crank calls, at worst you can get what Paullete Cooper got. Scientology tried to frame her for a bomb threat, a scientology P.I. walked up to her door and fired an unloaded gun at her to scare her. And now 30 years later we have the first 3 posters being scientologists and trying to stifle criticism, nice religion there.

  • AF

    “Jeez, isn’t there a chapter in Dianetics about humor?”

    I believe there is. In essence, it says “if anyone makes a joke about Dianetics or Scientology, they are a “joker and degrader” and this makes them one of the “suppressive personalities” that we must either cure or “dispose of quietly and without sorrow” in order to clear the planet.

    “Although it’s perfectly okay for us to make jokes. For instance, it’s okay for us to joke about R2-45 , which is shooting an enemy in the head with a Colt .45. This is, of course, just a joke, even when it’s coming in the middle of Hubbard’s deadly serious instructions on the sentence to be meted out to perceived “Enemies of mankind, the planet and all life.”1,2 I mean, you can just tell that Hubbard doesn’t actually mean item 7 the way he means items 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and 8 — tell it to the court system, that is.”

  • http://ecofriendlyinfo.com/ Eco-Thinker

    hah poor parrish. Opened up a hella can of worms there, I see. If it’s any consolation I laughed..freaky deaky..lol

    Seriously..Hubbard is after all the guy who said “The way to make a million dollars is to start a religion.”

  • Lu

    What a piece of nonsense did you swallow now? A million in gas? I didn’t know he produces his movies in a flying studio (two a year, that takes some time, doesn’t it). That’s what it must be to fit your calculation.

  • xoose

    thank you for the post. we need to know just how big a nut Cruise really is! That wife of his– she does nothing useful for the human race, just like that best friend of hers– victoria plastic surgery.

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  • http://www.therawdivas.com Tera

    I know I’m kinda late, just coming across this now, but I thought, just for the record, I’d put in my two bits…

    First of all, I am a Scientologist. *GULP* (Squinting my eyes in anticipation of attack!)

    I found this post REALLY funny. Honestly, it’s BRILLIANTLY written. I have no bone to pick with that.

    I’d also like to say, even though I am a Scientologist *squint*:

    1. I don’t have a freaky, deaky hovercraft. (I don’t even have a car. Just a really great jogging stroller. :-D )

    2. I don’t invalidate other people for their beliefs or evaluate the “rightness” or “wrongness” of what is real for them.

    3. I’d be dead if I hadn’t read a few things by Old L. Ron.

    We tend to criticize and have fear the things we do not understand.

    It’s easy to set off bombs in each other’s playgrounds until we realize we’re tearing apart the ground beneath our own feet, too.

    I think we’re all just kinda trying to do our best with what we know, and hopefully we have the sense to be willing to learn more, and to learn through our experiences and observations rather than the judgements and opinions of others.

    We all get to use the tools that work for us as individuals. There is no “right” way.

    But when we create hostility amongst ourselves as cohabitants of this beautiful, green Earth, then we’re undermining the very essence of what will only, ever make the world a better place to be:

    Clear, respectful communication.

    Because without that, we’re just shooting guns in the dark.

    I’ve seen a lot of Scientologists act like jerks out of their own ignorance and create a lot of problems.

    I’ve seen a lot of non-Scientologists change nations with their hopes, dreams and vision for the future.

    What do I care the tag they wear, as long as we’re all working toward the same thing?

    I know you’re working for that, too, or you wouldn’t be poking your cute little nose in places like this.

    Muah!

    xox
    Tera

  • parrish

    Hallelujah! Super great comment, Tera! And oh how you’ve changed my biased heart! Seriously, I will no longer scowl at the Scientologists in the subway who offer me a stress test. Cheers to rocking change no mater what God/Man/Universe/Action Figure/Can Of Soda you deem worthy. (Parrish puts on We Are The World and waves a lighter in the air.)

  • http://www.therawdivas.com Tera

    You just gave me the best belly giggle I’ve had all day!

    The world needs more yummy people like you!
    You totally CRUNCH! I love it! Your little biased heart is one of the cutest I’ve ever encountered!

    *Mmmmmuah!*

    Tera

  • http://www.poodlewithamohawk.blogspot.com fifi

    Here is what I can’t stand. That people need some form of religion, higher power, etc., to cope with life.
    Is it the fear of death? Is it the low self esteem a lot of people seem to have with themselves? Always thanking god or some h/power? Why does their need to be the catholic church, scientology, Buddism, or any supernatural power controlling your life? Buck up take control of your own life!
    ANyway the post is about Tommy boy.
    He scares me. Aside from the rumors, the craziness and all of that, he just seems unbalanced and ready to snap.
    And the recruiting is just plain creepy, but he has more money then……GOD! so he can do whatever he wants, including destroying the earth with his gas guzzling vehicles.

  • http://www.therawdivas.com Tera

    Hey, Fifi.

    Great comment! And I totally understand why you’re saying it.

    Religion has been used as a tool to suppress human ability for a looooong time. Organizations that enforce “beliefs” or “faith” are dangerous and have caused society to have the “button” they do when the word “God” or “Religion” comes to the table.

    The fact that he scares you is for you to look at.

    The chances of him snapping… well, I don’t know any human being on this planet that puts up with more invalidation than him. I mean, SERIOUSLY, if he was going to snap, he’s have done it by now.

    People are more likely to sling mud than they are to pick up a book and inform themselves rationally. Most people attacking Scientology have never bothered to inform themselves about what it is in the first place.I don’t mean reading slander and garbage online. I mean, picking up a book like the “Fundamentals of Thought” by Good Ol’ L. Ron himself. It’s a brilliant, brilliant book. I don’t know anyone who would slam that book down if they actually bothered to read it.

    Scientologists are not Scientology. Tom is a cool guy. He’s done a lot of great things, but I bet he picks his nose when nobody is looking. I mean, clearly he still has some “issues” to address in his life, and one of them appears to be ecological responsibility.

    But if he stayed at home and rode his bike to work how many lives could he touch? I dunno. Maybe these are the considerations he makes before he decides to get in his heaky deaky zippermobile and fly across the sea to meet the president of some country.

    As for fear of death, and supernatural powers in life…

    …I mean, I’m just one ecochick who had the courage to read A LOT of books and all I can say is this:

    The more I read the more I realized that the only supernatural power controlling my life,…

    …was ME! And that kinda made me want to shape up and do what I could to make the world a better place to be.

    Hope that makes sense.

  • parrish

    That was Tera, the official Ecorazzi Scientology Correspondent. Up next: Is Michael Jackson’s pet monkey staging a coup? Stay tuned. And now a word from our sponsors….

  • http://www.therawdivas.com Tera

    Parrish…

    I think I love you.;-)

    Mmmmuah!!!

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  • TRU

    Oooh but I HAVE read all the “brilliant” works by, how do you call him?, ooh yeah “Good Ol’ L. Ron”. At the end, Scientology is a RELIGION and if you love to read why don’t you read “Religion poisons everything” maybe you’ll learn something useful WITHOUT attending idiotic seminars!
    xoxo
    Tru

  • http://www.in2town.co.uk diane

    What makes me laugh about this story is Tom Cruise always goes on about caring for the earth and how we should look after our planet and there he is destroying it.

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