Listen, I know I created a lot of drama the last time I wrote about Tom Cruise, but here I go again. Tom Cruise is flat out crazy!! There, I said it. Listen, I have no problem with Scientology- it’s not my religion of choice, but I could definitely get down with a little L. Ron Hubbard magic every now and then. That said, I get a serious case of the heeby jeebies when people start fundamentally prophesizing on behalf of their faith.
In the new uncovered Tom Cruise scientology video (kind of like the Paris Hilton sex tape, but with like aliens and stuff), Cruise says that the Environmental Protection Agency lied regarding the purity of the air post 9/11. He says, “The EPA came out and said the air was clean. Of course, as a Scientologist you go, that’s a lie. Outright lie. Liar. Fine.” He continues to explain how as a Scientologist he recognized there was a problem and offered to provide workers with detoxification therapy-a procedure made popular by L. Ron Hubbard (the essential Jesus of Scientology).
It’s not the fact that Tom Cruise said the EPA lied, I’m sure the EPA has lied before. It’s the fact that the REASON why he knew they had lied was because he was a Scientologist. That kind of talk scares me to pieces. So Tom, I’m sorry to you slap you again with Ecorazzi’s third generation, recycled, biodegradable, vegan slapping stick, signed by Alicia Silverstone and Darryl Hannah- but I’m afraid I must. Ready, 1-2-3 WHACK!!!!! Get a hold of yourself man!