While undoubtedly somewhere, someone is reading this news and looking sadly at a pair of pre-purchased Spice Girls tickets, the rest of us can breathe a sigh of relief that it’s all over. It’s been announced that Spice Girl Mel C has called it quits citing “family and personal commitments”. As a result, the group as decided to cancel their world-wide tour, but not before gracing Toronto with one last rendition of “Spice Up Your Life” as part of a finale concert on February 26th. We’re sorry.
Cities spared by some unknown power of good include Beijing, Sydney, Cape Town and Buenos Aires. This also means five less private jets traveling around the globe for the Spice Girls’ entourage. As we wrote back in July, each member of the group was given “their own private jet to accommodate their entourage of assistants, family members,” and, of course, the seventh circle of hell.
According to the site, greenhelpline.com, we’ll be spared a good portion of the 9,500 tons of CO2 that was expected to result from all of these jets. As I said back in July, “Like Lord Voldemort’s soul in the Harry Potter series, these horcruxes of musical drudgery have somehow managed to persevere through repeated worldwide insistence that we all have better things to listen to.”
Ladies and gentlemen, the horcruxes have been destroyed. Rejoice!