by MPD
Categories: People
Tags: .

You gotta love a good celebrity donation. A house here, a car there…maybe a trip every now and then to a homeless person in need. In this day and age good P.R is vital, and so when a celebrity donates their precious belongings, it’s important to not only be generous, but creative.

Well this week, Dolly Parton upped the ante on celebrity gift giving by donating her breasts to her fans!!! That’s right folks, now WE own them! She’s named the twins “shock and awe” (which is coincidently my little nickname for that other set of famous twins: the Olsens) No word yet on which is which…they’re identical so it’s hard to tell them apart.

Dolly insists it’s her tah-tahs that deserve credit for boosting her career and said, “They do seem like public property in a way. They served me well – I don’t know if I’m supporting them or they’re supporting me.” She continued, “I’ve always had nice ones, but of course I’ve had ‘em jacked up a bit. And they’re part of the persona – it always takes a little pressure off me.”

That’s funny, comparing the weight and girth of her fun bags to the weight and girth of the rest of her body, I would assume, if anything, it’s puts the pressure ON her. Oh well. Not only is this gift super generous (how many times has someone given you anatomy?), but it’s also completely waste-free AND eco-sensitive. So from all your fans out here let me say: WE APPRECIATE YOU AND YOUR BOOBIES!!! Now exactly how do we go about receiving our donation?