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Tobey Maguire To Go Post-Apocalyptic

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Forget Global Warming! What we really need to be concerned about are giant solar flares scorching half the Earth. At least, this is what the crystal ball is showing us as the plot line of Tobey Maguire’s next film. Here’s what’s in store:

“A sci-fi adventure set against the backdrop of a postapocalyptic Earth, whose Eastern Hemisphere was destroyed by a massive solar flare, leaving what life remains mutated from radiation and fallout. The story revolves around a group of treasure hunters who for the right price extract such objects as the Mona Lisa, the Rosetta Stone and the Crown Jewels while facing rival hunters, mutants and pirates along the way.”

If the elevator pitch included mutants and pirates in the same sentence, it’s hard to see how anyone could avoid signing on the dotted line immediately. Look how well that played out for Kevin Costner in Waterworld!  The film, tentatively titled Afterburn, will be based on an adaptation of the comic book series with the same name. Expect Maguire, who will appear as a treasure hunter in the film, to wear nothing but animal-friendly garb.

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Veld donates money to farm animals and also serves them

Lest we be confused that their giant V logo stands for anything other than Veld.

Trading beef for beans is not a solution, veganism is

Please do substitute beef for beans, but also have tofu instead of turkey, carrots instead of chicken, and I think you see where I’m going.

Guys, extortion isn’t an effective form of vegan advocacy

Assuming we can extort people into respecting the lives of others makes no sense.