Did you know that your version of Internet Explorer is out of date?
To get the best possible experience using our website we recommend downloading one of the browsers below.

Internet Explorer 10, Firefox, Chrome, or Safari.

Knut The Polar Bear Arrested On Drug Possession, Drunk Driving

Like us on Facebook:
The current article you are reading does not reflect the views of the current editors and contributors of the new Ecorazzi

knutbeer.jpgAdding even more sadness to what is quickly becoming a typical Hollywood career implosion, Knut the polar bear was arrested today along the Pacific Coast Highway while driving under the influence. Malibu police also found trace amounts of cocaine and heroine in a cooler filled with sardines in the back seat. “We think he was attempting to ditch the cooler into the ocean immediately after we pulled him over,” officer Aprile Pazzo commented. “We quickly tranquilized him and called in refrigeration backup.”

Even more disturbing, it appears that Knut was caught hurling species-related slurs while stumbling out of his vehicle. “He pretty much condemned the human race and said we were destroying his homeland,” Pazzo continued. “It was then that he offered to hook me up with DiCaprio if I would let him off with a ticket. Too bad for him, I’m a Johnny Depp fan.”

As a child-actor, Knut rose to fame by appearing as a symbol of climate change. After a string of magazine cover appearances, book deals, and movie contracts, the pressures of Hollywood really started to take a toll. “I just could not believe how much weight he gained in such a short period of time,” exclaimed former trainer Madge Prisney. “From a cuddly 30lbs to over 250lbs in just one year! It’s hard to watch.”

Knut is currently being held in an undisclosed location until law officials figure out the next course of action. “He’ll need rehab for sure,” added officer Pazzo. “And you can bet those people from True Hollywood Story are going to come calling. If I were him, I’d just catch the next iceberg out of town.”

It’s worth noting that today is April 1st.

Like us on Facebook:
0 Comments
finalmilk

There’s a Recall on Milk Containing Too Much Poo

“Routine internal testing detected microbial bacteria in excess of quality standards. Contaminated products could cause illness if consumed.”

peppa

Peppa Pig: Vegan Extremist

Indeed, between her human-esque interactions, she snorts what can only be translated as “go vegan, piss off your parents.”

final

The Dumbest Things People Say to Vegans

If you’re a vegan, you’ve probably face palmed one too many times after talking to non–vegans.