Michael Ian Black (comedic commentary genius and VH1 regular) maintains a blog in which he types about really random things. Sometimes the inanity of those things is what makes his remarks come across as so remarkable.
A New York Times Best Selling Author, Black knows how to write for affect, but you can’t always make out what affect he is aiming for. An example of this can be found in his entry titled “The Amount of Soap They Give You at the Ritz Carlton in Chicago“.
Here is an excerpt:
“Most hotels give you those little hotel soaps that are about as big as a fun-size Mr. Goodbar, and honestly, that’s a good size for a soap you are probably going to use, at most, twice. But the Ritz Carlton gives you two big blocks of fancy L’Occitane “vegetable soap.” I’m not sure what vegetables the soap is made from, nor why they feel the need to say that it’s made from vegetables, other than perhaps that’s their subtle way of trying to tell me that other soaps are made from meat, which I hope is not true. Didn’t they used to make soap from whale? Have I been washing with whale soap my whole life and didn’t know it? If that’s true I’m going to be very upset because I have donated a lot of money to various groups attempting to save whales over the years, and if I have been undermining my own efforts by using whales to clean my pits this whole time, I am going to feel seriously hoodwinked.
I actually felt guilty taking my morning shower because I knew while unwrapping the giant soap that it was mostly going to go to waste. Then I thought, maybe not. Maybe they reuse the soap for other guests. Maybe they wrap it back up and nobody is the wiser. Wouldn’t the soap still be clean? I think so. After all, it’s soap.
I would prefer it if they offered a smaller soap size.”
From that, you might gather that Mr. Black cares about conservation and also about whales, but he later states that he took an extra long shower in an attempt to use up as much of the soap as possible. He also tasted the soap and claims that not only did it taste like whale, but he ate the entire thing because of it.
So while Michael Ian Black may come across as an enigma of sorts, he is certainly an entertaining one, who just may or may not, care about whales and waste. One thing is for certain however, he doesn’t want that darn chambermaid to get his soap.