hmm. but we’re the US remember? No one gives us money to help ourselves of course but we’re supposed to give our money to help them. While our own country is in the toilet. It’s the American way Felipe don’t you know!

F,

well i think caucasians are still the majority in the US right now… and I was going to argue you and figured there’d be at least one token white kid at the school (you see i’m not into ANY kind of discrimination of any people… ) so because i couldn’t sleep i scoured the site and pics (ok for 5 minutes but i saw quite a few) and no i could not find one white student accepted to the school. i don’t really understand – maybe it’s the neighborhood but they say they interview tons of kids and have certain guidelines on who they accept (i hope only non white children is NOT one of them – that would NOT be fair)

http://bp2.blogger.com/_t9UAJLQl-co/R2BBUB9EmLI/AAAAAAAAAzY/25sIqt7Ss6o/s1600-h/2007-181+Ron+Clark+IMG_0027.jpg

here’s a pic of the class. interestingly almost all the teachers are white at this school that appears to have no white students.

E

did not mean to be so harsh. had a very bad day and am so tired of hearing the race card being played simply because we did not all vote for obama, nor believe he had enough experience for the job. i am afraid with all the wars going on in the holy land, of what is going to happen next. and he wants to weaken our defense, instead of making it stronger, and the world knows this is his wishes, which makes us at a greater risk for terrorist attacks. but i have been called racist about ten times this week simply because i did not vote for obama, and i have never heard such nonsense.

i dontmean ot offend anybody. i am just tired of the race cared being played just because i did not vote for obama.

second, i am a disabled rn. i worked in a hospital then a nursing home. i also never had it easy. while i was in nursing school, i developed chrones disease, i would often bring a pillow to school and lay in the floor and listen to my professors. many times i was so weak from blood loss and dehydration that i could not hold my head up. but i ended up graduated magna cumlate which i was very proud of., especially with the obtacles i had to overcome. At the same time i was going to school i worked a full time job, for my parents were not able to pay for a college education for my sister and i. i did recieve a pell grant that helped pay my tuition, but paid nothing on my books, and many times when they did not have used books for sell, i did without a book, and just took real good notes. even with no book,i never made below a B.
in 2000 my dad committed suicide. up until that time., i worked a very productive job, that i enjoyed very much, but i developed PTSS and even though for when i had got the blood of of a pt afte he simply pulled his iv apart, i could not get all the blood off,although i didnt realize there was no more blood to get off, and I had to be pulled from the room. i was unable to work from april until july, but luckily i had enough sick days and vacation days to fill that void financially,although the last few weeks that i was out of work i had to a apply for short term disability, which although it took more money out of my pay check every 2 wks. my insurance did help out during the last few weeks while i was out . i could have gone on disability for either chrones disease or the ptss that i had and have experienced. but i did not attempt to do that, for i knew people who were in worse shape that came to work each night . and i had worked to hard for my degree to give up my job so early in my life. so i quit the job that i had worked at since i was 18 years old, and had worked their from 79 until 2001, where i then obtain a less stressful job as mds cordinator in a small nursing home. i really didnt like the paper work,which my job mostly consisted of, but i loved the contact i had with al the patients that i had. and i would not have traded that time for anything in this world.

but in 2004, i began to fall, i had difficult with my vision, and it was difficult to the careplans that had difficulthy radingm soon i had to use crutches, and still could not keep my keep my balance and did not have the strenght in my arms to hold my body weight, i continued to work every day, my neice was starting college, and i always hoped to help her and her brother when they went to college. at the same time i had been to onocologist, and three neurologist. i had symptoms that to others may have been minor, but i was aware of the changes occuring in my body. I became so weak that i could longer even hold my head up at times. finally i found a neurolgist who predicted what was wrong with me, but before he could diagnose me and start treatment, i had to have a spinal tap, and 22 different lab test, plut echocardogram, and mri’s. my mri said i had a deymlenating disease of my brain which also did’t tell me a whole lot, for so many diseases can fall under that diagnosis. so i had to wait unti i had a new symptom or else or had more changes on my mri. i continued to work, with all the symptoms i was having, plus i also had chrones disease with chronic diarrhea. and during this period i began to become inocontinet. then my doctor said i had a change again in my mri, about one year later for at that time, you had to have two episodes, or changes in your mri, twice before they could give you a diagnosis.

so in 2004 at the age of 44 i was diaganosed with ms, and i wsas told to go on disability. by the time i was i was diagnosed i was already on short term disability which like i said i took the responsibility of buying when i started working, due to my hx of chrones dx and often having to be hospitalized for as much as thirty days for that disease., due to surgery’s, severe dehydration. so i was paid 60 % of my income. but i had a car payment, house payment, utilities, a credit card payment, hospital and doctor bills,. at that time luckily since my roommate and i bought the house we had been making twice the mount of the house payment and paying it in two payments a month. which did decrease the priniciple more quickly, but we still owed a lot a money, and also before i got sick we were in the rocess of remodeling our house, and they had already started the work, which was 60,000 more dollars that we owed. but at the time we decided to do all of this, nobody knew i woas going to be disabled, and wouldnt be able to make payments to the bank, for that much. we started pawning things such as our guitars and amps to pay for groceries, and to help buy our groeceries. my friend woul work sometimes three weeks withou a day off.during that time i became severely depressed and felt like i was worth more dead than what i was alive. but i didnt want to put a gun to the middle of my forehead and shoot myself as my dad had done, and left us with so many unanswered questions. and i had a 60,000 dollar insurance policy which i had had for years, and i thought they my neice and nephew could get a copy of my will and my insurance policy, and if i simply stopped eating there would be no way find out it was my way of committing suicied. so for three and a half month i never put one piece of solid food in my mouth. i would drink about an eighth of a glass every day just to wet my mouth. i could not cope with the possibility that i might not ever work again, that i was not going to be able to pay my share of bills, for i had always been independent since i was 18 years old and began working. i could not stand the thoughts of possibly having to give up a job that i deerly loved.. When they diagnosed me with ms, i was also ashamed of myself, afraid there would be snigger in my disability when i was in public, so i isolated myself in my own home. then hurricane katrina occured, and i became so emotional watching and listening to what had happened and i become obseesed with all the tragedies that these families had to go through, i remember the faces they showed on CNN, and i had to help some so for some reason during that period i become manic. which i had never had an episod of manic depressed disorder.

novemeber 19,2004, i was placed in a mental institution for over a month.

but i recovered. i am still in a wheelchair. still unable to work. yet during all this time, me or my friend never missed a house payment, or a bill or a car paument.

i understand that people have hard times. i had a very hard time. i had no outside sources assisting me with my bills. i had no meals on wheels assisting me with meals when i couldnt cook myself. there was no home health agency coming to assist me with my bath every other day. i woulattempt to do it myself if i was unable i would wait on my friend to come home from work or i laid in my mess until they came home..

when you get sick and are not around the people uou work wirh every day, and then no longer see them, hey seem to forget you. and you spend most of your time alone.

i never blamed any other race or person for the problems i was having. I did get angry at God a few times, when i was left in positions that i felt if i could just hit the wall, i would feel better, but i coulot even do that.. and i got so angry at friends who i know they meant well, but only made me and my family family feel helpless.

the first year that i was out of work the first full year i made a little over 24,000 dollar, my medical bills alone was 17,000 dollars. but due to not paying taxes that year due to not working, i was not even able to count my meds as an s deductable nor any of the doctor bills or xrays and lab work. but i did not recieve govenmental help, nor did i expect it. one injection that i have to take each day is 1500 dollars a month. i now have medicare medicare d, and aarp, but it only pays 33 and one half percent of that medicine. my friend called around, and found a pharmacy that has been assisting me and paying 5o dollars of what my insurance does not pay for.

and when i am called a racist because of who i have voted for, and when i know my sister and brother in law is working their butts off to get both of their children through school, then it does make me angry, when some races have blamed every misforturn in their life on the white race, and take no responsibility on their own. i now have my bills paid off. but i have been unable to buy a family member a christmas present or a birthday present in four years. but i know they understand. i owe only on my house., by paying fifty dollars a month to each thing as i could until i got it all paid off. each year i have got out of my bank fifty dollars each year, just to have at home, just in case i need it for something. so three times a year i have got out one hundred and fifty dollars for my personal use a year. but i usually spend it on somebody else, or end up on spending it on some part of my medical care, because we didnt quite make it that month without it. i do not go and buy new clothes cars jewelry, body peircing, tatoo’s beer, alcoholic beverages. i dont go to the movies, concerts, and party’s with the gang. i have not been on a vacation but once since my dad committed suicide.

and i have never called a african american or whatever they want to be called, it is different every time you turn around, anything except for their name. i have never treated them any different than i treat anybody else. as a matter of fact, the two people i stayed around the majority of the time when i was in a mental hospital, was an elderly black woman, and this tall large black man. and two of my best friends are black, and they understand exactly what i am saying for they know it is true. i know as long as there is breath in all human beings, that there is going to be racism. but the point i was trying to make, is that there are many sucessful black men and women in all kinds of jobs. and i feel that there has been enough black americans that has showed that they could suceed in spite of the odds against it, including obama whoadmitted he once had to live on food stamps. and if these black americans can achieve their goal, there is no reason they can not suceed in what they want in life. and since we have a black skinned president, that if not anything should proveto them that anything is possible, if they have it in their heart to suceed and the willpower to try. and if i could overcome all the obstacles that i have overcome and have not expected the government to help me out, and more than anything i have not blamed anybody for the change in my whole life style. least of all the black race. that does not make any sense. but if the tables were turned around, the blame would be put on the white race, if they had to overcome and live with what i have had to live through since i started college. yet i continued and did not let my personal illness’s stand in my way of reaching a dream of mine. i also worked for as long as the doctors would allow me to work, not just because i knew i would desperately need the money, but i was also losing the ability to do something i had always dreamed of, and that was being an rn and caring for others. but never once have i played the race card. and when others want to discuss why they voted for obama, which their excuse the majority of the time is that they didnt want four more years of mccain. when i talk to my black friends and they make comments such as that, i dont call them racist because they voted for obama and not mccain. and i dont think it is too much to ask that when i give my reasons for not voting for obama, which abosuletly has nothing to do with his race. i wouldnt vote for him no matter what color he was. he told the citizen of the usa a lot of lies that he will never be able to fulfill, and i have are already mentioned the main reason i did not vote for him. buont call me racist because i did not.

and as far as hispanics go. i have no problem with the ones who come here legally, gain their citizenship, and at least attempt to speak the english language. but that is not the case and you know it. when they come here illegally, it is not our fault that they have no homes, and yes they are part of the reason the usa is in the shape that we are in now. first of all, they were a great number of the people that recieved housing, when the banks knew they didnt even have a job to pay for it, but gave them the loan anyway. i live in a small town. the caucasions are the minority, because the majority are legal and illegal immigrants. i know it sounds bad and cruel, but illegal immigrants have no rights while they are here in my book. the are the reason our hospital bills are now so high, and insurance, because we are having to take up the slack for what they do not pay. the states are running out of money. they asked california just how much money did they set aside for illegal immigrants, and it was agreat amount. there children go to our schools and do not speak english which puts the kids who are american citizens behind. and who pays for their education, the american citizens. why should america pay for their schooling, when we have our own kids in schools having to get loans to go to school, yet it is just handed down to them because they are a minority. if i had children, and these were not my neice and nephew that i wanted to help, my own children would not get an education because i could not afford to send them. yet iiegal immigrants and minorities have many more benefits that the white race does not have. as i was saying what if we had all white schools, what if we had school funding for only the whites. what if the kkk, worked in the same way that naacp does. that is the only group of people that i know of that ever defends the whites rights. and no i sure do not believe in what they do and how they do it and all thaey stand for. i only used it as an example.

the main point that i was trying to make in all of this is that we all have our hardships, we all have been a victim of racism, black white, hispanic indian, and so on.. but only we are responsible for what we do with our life. we can sit back and feel sorry for ourself, for our sickness, for our lack of money, for our lack of education, for how the world has treated us, and for things that happened generations ago. but when it comes down to it if you want something bad enough, you will do whatever is required to achieve it. but that is the difference in people of all races, many rather look for an excuse, or a reason to blame others for the things they did not achieve. and in the usa, i have alwayeard it was the land of opportuny, and reguarless of how the world has let us down, we each share the same opportunity to achieve whatever we want to if we apply ourself. and no i donot believe the white race should be blamed forall the things that the black race, or any race can or cannot do. as i said i know racism isgoing to be alive as long as we all breath, but it works both ways. and i refuse to take the blame foranything that the black race wants to try to blame me with. i nor has any of my family for all the generations back, which was researched when doing geneology ever owned slaves. i have never made a racist comment nor have i been unkind to any black americans thati know. nor have i treated them any different than the people i worked with who were white. we laughed and had a good time, and yes we do have different cultural backgrounds, but that does not set us apart, it only helps us learn more about each other. but i am not a racist because i did not vote for obama. there is so many reasons that i could list on why i did not vote for him, that the color of his skin would be the futherist thing from my mind.

so i hope this additional explanation of why i feel the way i do, helps people understand more clearly how i got to the point that i have got to. it was not easy going to school everyday sick, it was not easy working and being sick and falling all the time, and using the bathroom on myself with my co workers around, it was degrading, but i continued to work until three of my doctors took me out of work, but not at my request. but i used the money that i did have on the neccessities of life. and i have never tried to live beyond my means. sure all of us would like a huge home, and two fancy cars in the driveway or garage. and would like the best schools for our children, and would like to pay all their expenses so they would not have to worry about anything but getting an education. who would not want these things. but we know each monthwhat our income is, and we should live within that income, and really below that income if possible, for you never know when you will need extra cash… not to spend on a trip just because you saved the money, or to pay down on a new car that you dont need. but it should be put away and forgotten about whether it is five or ten dollar, no matter how much it is, for you may be able to pay cash whenever the next thing tears up in your home, instead of having to put it on a credit card or borrowing money from some other place. i know i have been there. and nobody ever knows when they are going to be in a situation as i was put in or worse. that is why i do not feel the races are treated equal, had my skin color been black, i probably would have had social workers coming to me and telling me all the things that are available to me. but i saw nobody. nobody to even help me figure out a way that i could pay my debt to them without them calling a collection agency. but if my skin color had been black, many people’s bills would just be written off. like most illegal immigrants. but you know i did not want my bill to be written off, for i know others that have had to struggle to pay hospital bills and medical bills, and i do not feel i am any better than any one of them. i rather pay my way rather than have someone say they gave it to me.