Ecorazzi

For environmentalists, there may be no greater issue on the eve of of the Obama administration than what green inaugural ball to attend while in Washington, DC. Sure, you may be thinking to yourself, “Hey, why not just attend both? They’re on different nights!” — but high-society frowns upon such frat-party gibber jabber. Besides, where in the world are you going to find two stylish sustainable gowns that you actually like?

Exactly.

Thankfully, the razz is here to help you. We’ve conveniently broken down the pluses and minuses of each party and will guide you towards the best bet. In the end it will probably boil down to who has the best open bar, but let’s sort through the details anyway and examine each element independently. Ready?

Date Of The Party:

The Green Inaugural Ball: Saturday, January 17th, 8pm-12am.

The 2009 Green Inaugural Ball: Monday, January 19, 7pm-12am

Analysis: Clearly, if you want any chance of recovering from the inevitable hangover after four or five organic vodka martinis, the 17th is your best bet. The 19th is risky, especially when you wake up in bed next to Dick Cheney on the 20th and he “wants to talk” about where this relationship is headed.

WINNER: GIB

Entertainment/Hosts:

The Green Inaugural Ball: Wyclef Jean, Speeches by Graham Hill, Summer Rayne Oakes, and some other people we’ve never heard of.

The 2009 Green Inaugural Ball: Al Gore, and his massive celebrity army. will.i.am., Melissa Etheridge, Maroon 5, John Legend, and Michael Franti scheduled to perform. Plus, the off-chance that Richard Simmons could crash the party.

Analysis: Al Gore could pull a Gwyneth Paltrow and stay behind a black curtain all night, and we’d still choose him over Graham Hill juggling fire. Though if Summer Rayne Oakes asked nicely, we’d probably acquiesce.

WINNER: 2009 GIB

Green Cred:

The Green Inaugural Ball: Electric car transport, water from atmospheric water generators, organic and local food and beverages, location half-block from Metro, compost and recycle system in place.

The 2009 Green Inaugural Ball: Carbon neutral, locally sourced organic food, compost and recycling, a “green carpet” made with renewable energy and 10% consumer content.

Analysis: We’re happy to report that both venues are living up to their green name. Though the inclusion of an atmospheric water generator over at GIB is a nice touch.

WINNER: GIB — by a hair. And because their website does a better job explaining how they’re reducing their impact.

Spirits And Beer Availability:

The Green Inaugural Balll: Open Bar

The 2009 Green Inaugural Ball: Open Bar

Analysis: Both events sport the all-important open bar — but the 09 GIB is open an extra hour.

WINNER: 2009 GIB — if only for one more shot of liquid courage to impress Cameron Diaz.

Price:

The Green Inaugural Ball: $500 general admission, $1,000 VIP admission

The 2009 Green Inaugural Ball: Sold Out

Analysis: At this point, you’re probably thinking “Why the hell am I reading this? There’s only one party I can attend!” Ah, but you’ve seen Wedding Crashers, right? How hard can it be?

WINNER: GIB — Just so you can tell your friends that you attended the most expensive Wyclef Jean concert ever.

Random Details:

The Green Inaugural Ball: Art sensation, Ryan Simmons will be in attendance with his eight foot tall Pop Art painting of Barack Obama. Recycle Runway artist, Nancy Judd, showing off garments created from recycled Obama campaign posters and flyers.

The 2009 Green Inaugural Ball: From the website: “This event has been planned and will be executed in accordance with House and Senate ethics rules.”

Analysis: Considering the ethics of House and Senate members in the past, 09 GIB could turn into an keg stand party. Though, a picture of you next to an 8-foot tall Obama cutout would look pretty cool too.

WINNER: TIE

Conclusion: In the end, it doesn’t necessarily matter what green ball you attend — both look like they’re going to be a blast. We’re going to give this one, however, to the Green Inaugural Ball — mainly because you can still purchase tickets. And we heard the food is going to be better. But we want to know: Are you going to either one of these? Can you score us some table gifts?

Have fun this weekend!