Michael Jordan Launches New Anti-Green Business Venture

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by Michael Parrish DuDell January 16, 2009
Categories: Eats
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In an effort to ruin our planet just a lit bit more, Michael Jordan has released his own line of steaks, chops and general debauchery for the red-meat loving so and so in your life.

Say what you want about the meat-industry, but it’s absolutely undeniable that beef just might just be the very worst thing for the environment since Sarah Palin. With its resource-sucking capabilities, beef makes a Boeing 727 look like a hybrid car. And Michael Jordan is eager to contribute…for a price.

On his site you will find “cleverly” named meat products, including a $449.95 “Dream Team” package which includes a schmorgisborg of Jordan’s “best” heart-attack inducing cuisine.

If you ask me, vegetarian athlete extortionate John Salley should release HIS own line of seitan steaks for the more environmentally-conscious diners of the world. But hey, that’s just me!

What do you think about Jordan’s new business venture? Will you be purchasing some Jordan beef? Chime in and share your thoughts!!


Categories: Eats
Tags: , .
  • http://BrainyBlonde.com e

    I never understood why people idolized this loser. I remember when he cut down a forest to build his house in the 90′s on the outskirts of Chicago.

    Kids, don’t idolize this man. he’s a bonafide LOSER in every sense of the word.

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  • Crazy Nat

    450$ for something that is going to help ruin the environment?

    I REALLY hope no one buys that.

  • VeggieTart

    He’s hardly the first athlete to start shilling chunks of dead cow, but the rest who have do it by opening restaurants.

  • RAIN

    NOT A FAN ANYWAY!

  • mike

    Quit being so damn gay, it’s not illegal or aganist the law…so what…

  • Ann

    Michael is all for himself! I won’t buy anything that he endorses, too expensive!
    Put the money back in the community like Magic Johnson is doing! Magic is a great
    role model!

  • Test4Eco23

    Hey “e”

    People idolized Jordan because he was a fantastic athlete,and one of the greatest sportsmen to ever live. You calling him a loser just shows how ignorant you are. Jordan is one of the biggest WINNERS that has ever lived. If you people don’t like the fact that he puts his name on a product, then don’t buy it. It’s that simple. If this company offered you a big fat check to put your name on a slab of meat…you would do it to, regardless of the fact you are liberal eco-dicks

  • antigoniem

    How is it “anti green” to kill something that releases carbon dioxide whenever it breathes. Yet, the vegetarian that posted this story thinks it’s right to eat the very thing that creates oxygen in this world. Use your common sense people. Vegetarianism and going green don’t really go hand in hand.

  • parrish

    This vegetarian isn’t the only one who thinks a plant-based diet is the greenest change you make in your life.

    The Smithsonian Institute estimates that every minute of every day, a land area equivalent to seven football fields is destroyed in the Amazon basin STRICTLY for animal production.

    Dr. Pimentel of Cornell produced a study that showed you could go two years without taking a shower and still not save as much water as you would by NOT eating one pound of beef.

    In 2005 the U.N released a report stating that raising animals for food generates more greenhouse gases that all the cars and trucks in the world combined.

    The official handbook for Live Earth concerts say that “refusing meat” is the SINGLE MOST effective thing you can do to reduce your carbon footprint.

    The organization Environmental Defense says that if every American skipped one meal of chicken per week and substituted vegetarian foods instead, the carbon dioxide savings would be the same as taking more than a half-million cars off U.S roads.

    The University of Chicago produced a report stating that going vegan is 50% more effective than switching to a hybrid car in reducing greenhouse gas emissions.

    These are just a few sources — a very few – that offer scientific proof to my claim that the meat-industry is environmentally destructive in every single way. Saying that meat-consumption doesn’t contribute to global warming is almost as irresponsible as denying climate change entirely.

    To find out more about how going VEG can help save the planet, check out this great article written by Quantum Wellness author Kathy Freston:

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kathy-freston/vegetarian-is-the-new-pri_b_39014.html

  • http://www.veganjapan.net herwin

    Michael Jordan is a big fat LOOSER anyway who even doesnt care about promoting shoes that are produced in semi slave conditions, and only can reply to questions about his thoaghts about sweatshops and exploiting third world people with a “i shoot hoops , i dont play politics” kind of answer.
    people like him are a fat joke on this planet and totally unsuitable as a rolemodel in any way.

  • Test4Eco23

    “Herwin” You are ignorant as well. Most of the products we use are made in the same conditions you are so poorly referring to. Many of these conditions have been improved over the years since the scandals have started with Kathy Lee, Michael Jordan, etc.. If you think he is such a loser, then what do you care what his political beliefs are. It is plain to see how much you all love America but truly hate Americans. You sound like a bunch of jealous junior high children, and herwin you type like one.

  • http://www.veganjapan.net herwin

    why he is such a big looser is that some people like Kathy Lee DID have a vhange of heart and did make improvements. you see, thats what makes me happy, to see people change for the better.
    many products are indeed made in poor conditions, but the products made by thhese big corporations just go a few steps further, and are the trendsetters for this kind of abuse. “many conditions have improved”? yeah, right. who says so.
    OMG, there it is again, say something critical and get accused of being “anti american”.
    like Bush, eh “if you are not with us, you are against us”.
    and BTW, “america” refers to south, middle, and north america. Do your geography, pal…

  • VeggieTart

    antigoniem: The very raising of cattle for meat damages the environment. Cattle account for roughly 1 billion animals slaughtered each year. If people didn’t eat them, corporations wouldn’t breed them in the numbers that they do. This holds true for any animal whose flesh people eat.

    And folks: “looser” means not as tight. Loser is the title of a Beck song and what you probably mean here to describe Michael Jordan. I would never describe him as a “loser”–he’s not–but he certainly is either a callous businessman or a mere shill.

  • http://www.veganjapan.net herwin

    let me explain why i call him a looser.
    if you are such a talented athlete, and find yourself in such a unique position with so much fame, money and oportunities, and all you can come up with are things like promoting 150$ shoes (real value 10 bucks give or take) to mostly poor kids who look up to you because you are a hero to them, or go into the “signature steak” business, well, you are loosing out on the real changes you had being in such a postion that most people aren’t and have posibility and credibility to go for some substantial action.

  • Test4Eco23

    Herwin. How much money did you donate to the Sept. 11 relief fund? Zero right? I didn’t donate anyting either. I wish I would have. I know of a certain LOSER who donated his entire salary for two seasons with the Washington Wizards to the 9-11 relief fund. I know what’s coming next…..your idiot liberal comeback is going to be something to the effect of “that is nothing compared to what he is worth.” Yeah I know it’s not but it is something. I do however agree with the fact that the rich and famouse do not do near enough for the greater good of the world. Now that Jordan desides to put his name on a signature steak doesn’t mean a thing. If he didn’t put his name on it, someone else would have. The meat would still be sold and eaten in some way shape or form. Well I have to go. I am on my way out the door to get into my huge SUV and go to the meat market and buy some thick Porterhouses for supper. Then I am going to lace up one of my ten pairs of Air Jordans and play basketball with my daughter, so we can enjoy the world as it is now before you liberals ruin it for everybody

  • http://www.veganjapan.net herwin

    i only can say that your daughter is lucky, and unfortunately many other children, especially young girls are much less lucky. Talking about the true hidden human and environmental costs of cheap clothes, expensive sneakers, meat and steaks, etc, maybe will ruin the bubble of some people but we are not living in Disney World.
    i enjoy talking with you, but instead of getting personal and saying things to me like “liberal” and “anti-american” you should come with facts like that Jordan donated money to 9-11 victims, etc. thats more constructive and would give some balance to my Jordan Bashing. (there, i said it before you could say it!):-P

  • Test4Eco23

    She is lucky, she is very loved. I take Jordan bashing very personal. I grew up watching and admiring Jordan not only as a ball player, but as I got a little older, I started to really admire the way he carried himself as a person and a sportsman. I will be the first to admit that he is greedy and even a little selfish. I think all rich people are like that. I shouldn’t have gotten personal with you like that, but I don’t agree with the liberal way of thinking, and don’t like when people talk bad about something they know nothing about. I could thing of a whole slew of athletes that could be ran down for the type of people they are and what they stand for and MJ is not one of them.
    I have enjoyed this as well.

  • James

    Good Lord, could you people even conceive of being bigger losers? I mean, friggin’ moron doesn’t even begin to cover it here. You sit on your bony asses ruminating like the cow you fear and think you’re being healthy and/or helping the environment? Your pathetic “waaaaaa … save the planet … help me Mr. Gore” bull#%It costs infinitely more money than if you’d just shut your pathetic pie holes and have a hamburger. Here’s your chance to shut the hell up and get off your high horses. Look in the mirror. Behold the lame assed loser. Unfortunately, not so rare a breed these days.

  • Ross Wolfe

    Listen, I’m a leftist, and also a huge Jordan fan (GoAT). But seriously, if the left is so degenerate that it actually thinks it’s making a point by calling out a celebrity for not following its eco-activist agenda, then things are much sadder than even I had realized.

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