* On Monday 23 March 2009 this article was amended to delete reference to Michael Jackson performing at Oleg Deripaska’s party. Oleg Deripaska’s representatives have told us that Michael Jackson is not performing.
Remember Bling H20? Reaching back through our archives all the way to November 2006, you’ll find our first mention of the king of stupid bottled waters. Costing between $36-$55 dollars per bottle — and “exquisitely handcrafted with Swarovski crystals” — it represents the pinnacle of dumb water. At that time, it was reported that Paris Hilton bought a case for her dog to drink — while Mariah Carey and Shaquille O’Neal also were big fans.
Sadly, a crappy worldwide economy hasn’t dulled the mirage of “exquisite taste” that Bling H20 offers — or gullibility of its celebrity clientele.
In a supposed concert rider released this week for Michael Jackson, Bling gets some top billing. The requests are said to include “nine top doctors to be on site at all times, 11 gourmet chefs, 1,200 bottles of the world’s finest bottled water, Bling H2O, and six massage therapists”.
While everything on that list is ridiculous, we have to hand it to Jackson for upping the ante on stupid requests with 1,200 bottles of Bling H20. It makes Paul McCartney’s request for no tree trunks backstage or Janet Jackson’s request for “no fish ice” seem downright normal. But then again, what’s normal about Jackson to begin with?