by Michael dEstries
Categories: Music
Tags: .


* On Monday 23 March 2009 this article was amended to delete reference to Michael Jackson performing at Oleg Deripaska’s party. Oleg Deripaska’s representatives have told us that Michael Jackson is not performing.

Remember Bling H20? Reaching back through our archives all the way to November 2006, you’ll find our first mention of the king of stupid bottled waters. Costing between $36-$55 dollars per bottle — and “exquisitely handcrafted with Swarovski crystals” — it represents the pinnacle of dumb water. At that time, it was reported that Paris Hilton bought a case for her dog to drink — while Mariah Carey and Shaquille O’Neal also were big fans.

Sadly, a crappy worldwide economy hasn’t dulled the mirage of “exquisite taste” that Bling H20 offers — or gullibility of its celebrity clientele.

In a supposed concert rider released this week for Michael Jackson, Bling gets some top billing. The requests are said to include “nine top doctors to be on site at all times, 11 gourmet chefs, 1,200 bottles of the world’s finest bottled water, Bling H2O, and six massage therapists”.

While everything on that list is ridiculous, we have to hand it to Jackson for upping the ante on stupid requests with 1,200 bottles of Bling H20. It makes Paul McCartney’s request for no tree trunks backstage or Janet Jackson’s request for “no fish ice” seem downright normal. But then again, what’s normal about Jackson to begin with?


About Michael dEstries

Michael has been blogging since 2005 on issues such as sustainability, renewable energy, philanthropy, and healthy living. He regularly contributes to a slew of publications, as well as consulting with companies looking to make an impact using the web and social media. He lives in Ithaca, NY with his family on an apple farm.

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  • Classy

    Having read your post here, I think you need to check your sources. This rider is actually for Michael Jackson’s residency at the O2 centre in London. I should add that if you were a touring musician, you would understand that the host of doctors, massage therapists and cooks etc are NOT just for Jackson – but for the team of musicians, dancers and roadies who put the whole show together. As you should really be able to imagine, if a dancer or musician injures themselves on or off stage, it has to be dealt with swiftly. The cooks will be working for the entire team as well, which will probably number about 50 people in all. As far as Jackson himself is concerned, he will be singing and dancing for almost 2 hours every 2 days. Again, if you were a performer, you’d realise what an enormous strain this puts on your body. Millions of pounds rests upon these shows; the local economy is receiving a huge boost as a result of the jobs created by this event, and so frankly, Michael Jackson is in an incredibly responsible position: many people’s careers are based upon how these shows go.

    As far as Bling H2O is concerned, frankly, if this is his poison of choice, good luck to him – if you had to go out there to entertain 20,000 people for just one night, I think you’d find yourself asking for many more unreasonable substances to keep you going – for a much higher price.

    Your article is ignorant and stupid and shows absolutely no realisation that the media continues to swerve public opinion towards being crass, flippant and litigiously slanderous.

  • michael

    No, I’d request tap water.

    And anyone who describes Bling H20 in their rider as “the world’s finest bottled water” is laughable.

  • criscross

    classy… you are wasting your time trying to explain to these eco-hypocrites. michael is probably sipping an ice cold bling right now. he’s a closet blingaholic.

  • michael

    Cris: How did you know? I’m starring at a fridge filled with it at the moment. The Swarovski crystals are mesmerizing every time I open the door to grab another Bling. Ah, nothing like fine, fine water from Tennessee. (grin)

  • VeggieTart

    Hey, tap is good enough for me. If I’m going to have a bottled beverage, it’s going to be Honest Tea–and I’ll recycle the bottle afterwards.

    I don’t do bling.