Loch Ness Monster Dead? Say It Ain't So Nessie!
Could the legendary Loch Ness monster have died in the last year before anyone could truly confirm that he/he was even alive? Such is the sad possibility that members of the Official Loch Ness Monster Fan Club say may be true. If so, 2010 already sucks.
Gary Campbell, president of the club, says such hilarious speculation is due to one thing — actually, the only thing the Loch Ness monster has ever been known for: sightings in the water. According to Campbell, those reports were fairly steady 10 years ago but have since fallen off over the last three years. In 2009, there was only one — but it gave some hope. “If it hadn’t been for that one, we would have been really, really worried,” he said.
Adding to the fears was a documentary that aired on The History Channel titled “Death at Loch Ness” that also speculated the creature might have gone extinct. Once again, thanks for killing my inner-child. But what really makes locals stay awake at night is the worry that this all might somehow affect tourism. Said Campbell, “Whether you believe in Nessie or not, the Loch Ness Monster is one of the most important tourist attractions we have.”
So folks, wherever you are this evening, raise a glass in memory of Nessie. She may never have existed in the first place, but damned if we won’t send her off in good cheer. At least until someone spots her again.