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Translating Donald Trump's Inane Climate Comments

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Following his comments at a business meeting on Tuesday where he called for Al Gore to be stripped of his Nobel prize due to “snowstorms in D.C.”, Donald Trump appeared on FOX News’ Your World With Neil Cavuto and continued his attacks against climate science. Below are some highlights of his interview — with some helpful translation.

Trump: “In Washington, where I’m building a big development, nobody can move, because we have 48 inches of snow, and the snow is not melting because it’s so cold. And, in New York, we have had the coldest winter on record. And all over Europe — by the way, I have friends in Europe – they’re freezing. It’s so cold. It’s never been colder.”

Translation: All this snow is bad for my bottom line — and climate change legislation is sure to do the same. And why isn’t this snow melting? Don’t tell me it’s winter, because surely that has nothing to do with it. Oh, and by the way, I’m pretty sure it’s the coldest winter ever in New York City, even though I really have no idea. And just for fun, I’m also going to say that it’s never been colder outside. Never! I study this shit. I know.

Trump: “I like Al Gore. He’s a nice man. But, you know, he got the Nobel Prize on something that I don’t believe he should have got a Nobel Prize for. And I said that tongue-in-cheek. I said that sarcastically. And it was picked up as though it were — obviously, you’re not taking it back, but, certainly, it — you know, you just have to look at what’s happening throughout the world. It’s crazy.”

Translation: I meant every word about Al Gore, but I don’t want it to come off as demeaning. Even though it was. But, um, have you seen how crazy the world is right now? It’s crazy! There are all these snowstorms happening during the winter! How is this not blowing your mind?!

Trump:Now, I believe strongly in clean energy and conserving energy and all of that more than anybody. But it’s putting this country in terms of the words global warming at a huge competitive disadvantage.”

Translation: I’d like to convince myself that I actually give a shit — but really, it all comes down to how much money I can make from all this. The benefits of cleaner air, water, and health don’t matter unless there’s a serious buck to be made. I care about that more than anyone else — and it shows.

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