Looking more like a living Barbie doll than her former reality television star self, Heidi Montag has perhaps become the unwitting poster child for what’s wrong with the culture of Hollywood. When perfectly slim and attractive 23-year-olds look at themselves in the mirror and think that the only possible way that they can ever be truly happy with their reflection (and degree of celebrity status) is by going under the knife…again and again…what does that say about society today? That plastic boobs and bleached blonde hair are the only true currency enabling those with stars in their eyes to achieve any degree of recognition and success in the industry? Bingo.
For the star of MTV’s The Hills and I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here, Montag has become famous for…well, not much (other than manipulating the paparazzi machine to think that’s she’s worthy enough for their prying camera lens). She has no real acting credentials to her name, and though she’s released several forgettable singles and a full-length self-produced album in January 2010 entitled, appropriately enough Superficial, she has yet to capture the buzz of other pop tarts. Her decision to undergo 10 hours of multiple plastic surgery procedures (to the tune of $30,000) was self-esteem as well as career motivated – rationalizing that Britney Spears achieved true superstar status due to her sex appeal – but now her frozen face and double Ds still haven’t yielded her the golden celebrity ring.
So, apparently it’s time to call in the big guns.
Montag has relieved her skuzzy hubby Spencer Pratt of his former career management duties in favor of renowned “Hollywood healer” Aiden Chase, who creates a transformational experience for his clients by strategically shifting energy, thereby paving the way for a future so bright that they’ve got to wear shades. The bodacious Barbie feels that “having an intuitive psychic leading (her) team” will give her the edge that she so desperately needs to create a “new life and career in a very different and positive way with light and love.” Her purported third generation healer and “intuitive” is all about helping celebri-wannabees to find their inner purpose, especially when they’re prepared to cough up from $95 to $895 for services as varied and what-the-huh? as traditional healing support (and channeled support following surgical procedures), holographic directional light energy projections, intuitive psychic readings and generating crystal matrixes for manifestation or clearing.
Chase has clearly made a tidy living talking vulnerable Hollywoodites off of cliffs – and if his online store is any indication, he’s also made lots of ka-ching selling new agey trinkets, mists and whatchamahoozits priced at $30 all the way up to $324. Montag’s new life-career manager is nothing if not resourceful, also the brainchild behind Malibu Eco Village, billed as a 20 acre solar and wind powered complex consisting of 15 modernist homes where residents are ensured that their “dreams (can) grow organically”…beginning from the HIGH $1 millions. With such tasty green amenities as sustainably managed organic orchards, vineyards and gardens as well as an on-location Institute for Eco Studies, the guy is either seriously legit or the greatest scam artist of all time. Somebody get Heidi a reliable father figure, stat!