Type in Ian Spector in Amazon for the hilarious books he’s written usurping Norris’s good name.

* Jesus follows Chuck Norris on Twitter.
* The reason we haven’t found Osama Bin Laden is because Chuck Norris found him first.
* When Chuck Norris tells time, time obeys.
* A solar eclipse is the sun’s attempt to hide from Chuck Norris.
* Someone once put Chuck Norris on hold. That’s where the term choke-hold comes from.
* A man once broke every bone in his body to avoid Chuck Norris doing it for him.
• There is nothing to fear but fear itself, and fear itself fears Chuck Norris.
• King Kong once challenged Godzilla to an arm-wrestling match. Mr. T won.
• The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
• The last man to make eye contact with Mr. T was Stevie Wonder.
• Chuck Norris is a man’s man’s man.
• Mr. T once beat a man to death with his own corpse.
• A cobra once bit Chuck Norris’s leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
• Chuck Norris can charge a cell phone by rubbing it against his beard.
• When an episode of “Walker, Texas Ranger” aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
• Chuck Norris was the first person to tame a dinosaur.
• Chuck Norris once visited The Virgin Islands. Afterward, they were renamed The Islands.
• Every piece of furniture in Chuck Norris’s house is a Total Gym.