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France Says Adieu To Hydraulic Fracking

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Somewhere, Mark Ruffalo is giving a giant high-five to the entire country of France this morning! A giant high-five.

French senators late yesterday voted to outlaw hydraulic fracking, making it the first country to ban the highly controversial practice for extracting natural gas and oil. Companies that currently hold permits for drilling on French lands will have two months to notify officials what method of extraction they plan on using. Should they say fracking or not respond at all, they will likely be slapped, declared a complete moron (Tu es completement debile!), and (we know this for a fact) be stripped of their permits. Heavy penalties will befall companies that decide to implement fracking techniques regardless. Don’t mess with France.

Back home, New York State – basking in the wake of celebratory legislation legalizing gay marriage – is about to sour the mood with a move that would effectively lift the current moratorium on fracking in the state. The Department of Environmental Conservation has issued a proposal that would allow drilling on private land “under rigorous and effective controls.” It would ban the practice on public lands and in the Syracuse and New York City watersheds.

The rest of us, however (read: myself) are screwed should anything (oh say, like this) go down during drilling.

Should there be no legislative bumps, fracking in NYS is expected to start early next year.

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