Earlier this week we told you that PETA is suing SeaWorld for enslaving the five orcas who live and perform at the marine park. PETA argues that the 13th amendment which prohibits slavery and involuntary servitude doesn’t say that the victims of oppression have to be human.
Well, we can all rest easy now because Stephen Colbert is on the case. And as he noted in his piece, he loves all animals including “beef, pork, poultry, even fish.” (Oh, Colbert.)
The host, in faux opposition to PETA’s argument that orcas are slaves, asks the audience, “Really? How many slaves got to hang out all day at a water park?”
The legal correspondent for ‘The Colbert Report’ doesn’t think any judge will name a non-human animal as a person deserving of rights. While the orcas were caught in the wild, brought to the park and forced to perform (sounds like slavery to me), he believes that PETA will not be successful because whales are not humans.
Colbert then comes to the “defense” of SeaWorld saying that the company counts as people, not the orcas. As a general rule, if Colbert is coming to your defense, you know you’ve done something wrong.
He says, “We have to treat corporations with care and respect and not cage them with ethical treatment of animals. We must let SeaWorld live the way god intended a marine amusement park complex to live in its natural state where it’s free to put a hat on a dolphin, train a walrus to play didgeridoo or teach sea lions to dance to thriller.”
For the full comedic effect, watch the clip below.