strange online searches
by Ali Berman
Categories: Pop Culture.

Here at Ecorazzi, we have a fantastic community filled with good gossip enthusiasts who love to see how their favorite celebrity is currently helping their favorite charity. But you lovely do-gooders aren’t the only ones who frequent this site. There are also those who find us accidentally through the use of creative (read: disturbing and strange) googling.

While most of the keywords that bring people to us are what you might expect like “Bill Clinton vegan” or “California gmo labeling ballot initiative”, others are not so pure of heart.

Here are 10 freaky, funny, or downright scary searches that somehow brought viewers to Ecorazzi.

1. “in fur coats sex videos”

We certainly do talk about fur on the site, but it’s not to show men and women engaging in sexual activities while wearing it. However, we do report on PETA showcasing naked celebrities to stop people from wearing fur. Maybe google can’t tell the difference?

2. “sharks eating people”

As you’ll see on this list, there are a strange number of “eating” searches that bring people here. Maybe this search is innocent and they just want to learn about shark attacks. Or, maybe they are looking for gruesome footage a la “Jaws”. Who knows.

3. “Is it legal to eat humans”

This one is a bit scarier. Hopefully they weren’t interested in trying cannibalism and were more just curious if there is an actual law against it on the books… To sleep tonight, I’ll choose the latter.

4. “what is the sexual position the dolphin”

Again, not really related to our normal good gossip categories, so we’re not sure how they ended up on our little site. But off the top of my head, I’d say that dolphins are one of the few species that have sex for fun, so maybe they have more than one position?

5. “miranda kerr naked up a tree”

We get a ton of viewers looking for naked celebrity pictures. And to be fair, we did post Miranda Kerr “nude” for the sake of the environment. Back in 2009 she posed on the cover of Rolling Stone, not wearing a stitch and chained to a tree. Like in all the “nude” ads we post, she doesn’t actually show any areas the people searching might want to see. But, here it is. Mirannder Kerr naked with a tree.

6. “requirements for becoming president of hsus”

This one is, by far, my favorite search. I just want to write to Wayne Pacelle, the current president of HSUS, and say, “Watch out! Some random googler wants to put you out on the street.” But, considering the incredible amounts of success the organization has had since Pacelle took the lead, we don’t think he needs to update his resume anytime soon.

7. “can you eat larvae”

Back to our eating theme. We’re not sure why someone would want to eat larvae. Maybe they are starving on a deserted island with only a smart phone and 3G to survive. But, as a veg diet advocating website, we also stand on the side of the larvae and say, find something else to eat.

8. ”humans mating with animals”

We hope this person wasn’t looking for bestiality porn. Because I can tell you right now, we don’t have any. Gross. Wrong. Illegal. No. End of song.

9. “allegy for eating elephant meat”

Last weird eating search. I promise. (We think they meant “allergy”, not “allegy”.) Considering that elephants are hunted for their ivory, they have enough to worry about without people wanting to try some exotic elephant meat for dinner. It would be nice if there was an actual allergy that made it so people couldn’t eat elephants. I hope it truly does exist.

10. “Al Gore what a jerk”

This one cracked me up. It’s so random. Maybe they don’t think climate change is real? Maybe they are annoyed that even though he’s a environmental activist, he still eats burgers. Who knows. But, it seems clear that this person does not like Al Gore.
 
There you have it. 10 strange searches that brought people here. Who knows. Next time these searches come up, it might be a direct hit to this post. So I offer this advice. Don’t eat people, elephants or larvae. Al Gore is trying even if he isn’t a vegetarian yet. Wayne Pacelle isn’t going anywhere so look for a different job. And fur is wrong, even if the people wearing it are copulating.

Photo Credit: Shutterstock

About Ali Berman

Ali Berman is a writer, teacher and activist. She works as a humane educator for HEART teaching kids about issues affecting people, animals and the environment. Ali is also a fiction writer. Her published work can be found on her website at aliberman.com. In early 2012 Ali co-founded flipmeover, a production company with the mission to use media to raise awareness of social issues.

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