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April Fools 2013 Roundup Eco Edition

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The Internet can be a particularly dangerous place on April 1st as companies, news sites, and other entities all enjoy a bit of frivolity in honor of April Fool’s Day. Below are a few of the environmentally-themed pranks we’re seeing – some humorous and others depressing.

Toronto to get $500M Bike Lane Network
Damnit – I fell for this one. In fact, it wasn’t till about halfway through that I finally saw the red flags; somehow overlooking the massive price tag in the headline. Either way, I wanted to believe that Toronto was about to go the way of Copenhagen and blow our minds with an incredible biking initiative. Damn.

Environmentalists rejoice as Agenda 21 is implemented across North America!
Like something out of a dystopian novel (or Rush Limbaugh’s worst nightmare), Agenda 21 would have President Obama implementing a “wildlife reserve and corridor system across the USA, that will return most of the nation to its natural habitat.”

Samsung announces availability of SMART Eco-Trees
Thanks to the engineers at Samsung, we finally have a way to capture CO2 from the atmosphere and release as oxygen. “In the process it also uses a natural filtering system to eliminate pollutants. Eco Trees also help keep the humidity at a pleasant level. These features are fully automatic and require only the addition of water and S (Solar) Beams.”

PETA Set to Release Meat-Allergy–Inducing Ticks in Northeastern U.S.
Remember the discovery of a species of tick (called the Lone Star tick) that was causing people to develop allergies to meat? PETA is interested in possibly releasing these ticks in the Northeast. “Really the only pushback we anticipate will be from fast-food companies,” the article quotes one fictitious biologist. “Maybe McDonald’s will start handing out free flea and tick collars with its value meals!

Found any other green-themed April Fools out there? Let us know in the comments below!

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    Animal Legal Defense Fund Sues to Stop Texas Bigfoot Hunt.

    “Cryptozoological creatures like Bigfoot must not be deprived
    appropriate legal protections,” says ALDF attorney Chris Berry. “The
    lack of credible evidence that Bigfoot is indigenous to Texas sets a
    clear legal prohibition on Sasquatch hunts in the Lone Star State.”

    More info: http://aldf.org/article.php?id=2389


Vegans who campaign against fur are upset that Aritzia is using fake fur but real down

You know how we won’t shut up about how ineffective single issue campaigns are, including the ones against fur?


LA schools fuck up, reintroduce flavoured milk as a healthy option

Cafeterias have become pilot programs for whether or not strawberry and chocolate milk is the way to make more money on our youth.


Dallas is afraid of a little vegan brisket

Uh oh Dallas, have you been shown that you don’t need animals to make a mean barbecue?