Last week, the B and Q lines of Brooklyn’s subway were powered down for a full 90 minutes while transit officials searched for two tiny kittens who had become lost in the nation’s largest subway system.
Nobody knows how the two kittens, named Arthur and August, wandered through the subway station and down onto the tracks, but they were spotted running dangerously close to the high-voltage third rail, prompting power to be shut off and most of the subway’s service in Brooklyn to be suspended.
Rescue workers were eventually able to use cat food to lure the shy kittens into crates and police removed them from the tunnels roughly seven hours after they were first spotted. They were both unharmed, much to the joy of the stranded commuters, many of whom had offered to help in the search.
But not all New Yorkers were touched by the tiny kittens’ plight. On Thursday, Arthur and August were guests on The Colbert Report and host Stephen Colbert made it clear that he was outraged by all the trouble the little animals had caused.
“Hundreds of Brooklynites were stranded on the platform with nothing to Instagram!” Colbert ranted. “Thousands of baristas were late for their shifts! Worst of all, dozens of bands were instantly formed and named ‘The Subway Kittens.'”
Colbert also shared his approval of mayoral candidate Joe Lhota, who was the only candidate to claim that he would not have stopped the train for the kittens. The Colbert Report host even invited Lhota to stop by the studio and end the kittens himself!
Check out the clip below and chuckle as Colbert takes on Lhota and his genius stradegy to be the only pro kitten killing candidate.
Photo courtesy of The Scratching Pad