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Yale Exterminated Campus Squirrels, According to Email

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As students returned to campus in New Haven to begin fall classes, they noticed something striking.

All of the squirrels were gone.

A few theories have developed to explain the sudden disappearance of the squirrels. Yale sophomore Leah Motzkin told the Huffington Post that last year’s massive winter storm, which dropped 34 inches of snow in 28 hours, might have something to do with their absence.

Another theory, however, is far more dark. A senior at Yale emailed the following statement to Gawker:

“I’d like to remain anonymous, but I also want to let you know about something going on at Yale. It appears that the administration paid to have all the squirrels on campus killed over the summer. There are no squirrels left at Yale. As students have begun to realize the genocide that has taken place, they are rising up, enraged and disgusted. Numerous student publications are racing to uncover the scandal, but so far there has been no official statement. Continued fury and uprising is expected.”

Gawker and the Huffington Post both reached out to the school and the parks department of New Haven, Conn., but neither could confirm anything.

According to a 2010 article in the Yale Daily News, the squirrel population on campus has been a nuisance to students for years, often climbing into their dorm rooms and stealing their leftover food.

“I haven’t really seen them,” Motzkin said on Tuesday. “Despite their normal menacing of students, we’re definitely starting to miss them.”

Photo Credit: Shutterstock

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