THIS WEEK IN THE VEGANVERSE III
Are you wondering what propels me to summarize the headlines? Is it my love of GIFS or my hatred for having to spend more than 116 words on unbearably frustrating topics? It can be both. Let’s go!
A meal delivery service called Food Box HQ decided Valentine’s week was a good time to tell vegans how many Americans don’t want to date them. Based on a survey of 1500 adults, 28 percent of single Americans said dating someone a step up on the moral ladder is a no-no. Trust, we are all crying into our quinoa at the loss of an opportunity to shack up with an animal exploiter. But follow the link and enjoy watching the numbers rise and fall as you scroll over the states, and join me in the skepticism of this whole thing because there’s no way 38.5% of Californians aren’t down to lose their V(egan) card.
When vegans get lumped into the same genre as Flat Earthers, I get mad too. So this vegan journalist has taken the chance to tell all the restaurant disrupters of the movement to stop shouting so much, and I’m on board with that. Twitter threats, street demonstrations, and laptop slaughterhouse video screenings are all keeping the “crazy vegan” stereotype alive. I’m not sure we need to “chill” about what’s happening, so much as we need to get fired up in constructive ways. Take the passion to a potluck via a huge bowl of Mongolian soy curls or gather some gifs into a blog, why not.
Remember when Hellmann’s tried to make it impossible for vegan mayo to label itself mayo? Well, The U.S. Cattlemen’s association is ignoring that precedent to try to take down the seitan steaks of the world. “Clean meat” was actually the final straw for the Cattlemen, something that should not ever be lumped in with a vegan option (it’s only plant-based). But the burn-them-all reaction is predictable as the industry sees decline, and I guess there’s a chance we see them turn the publicity around to produce their own “carefully crafted” meat alternatives.
The largest youth animal rights group in the world deserves a time-out. Following in the footsteps of their full grown PETA leaders, peta2 has awarded Birkenstock a Libby award for “Most Vegan-Friendly Shoe Company 2017”. They are celebrating the brand for making a line of vegan shoes and completely ignoring the fact that they have been exploiting animals to make ugly shoes since 1774. That’s a hell of a lot of dead animals, but hey, it only took them 243 years to recognize that they can use vinyl to keep vegan clientele happy. So yay? We. Need. To. Stop. Back-patting. Exploiters.
Finland was first to get the McVegan and now they get to test out a vegan steak sandwich at Subway. The ‘Vegan Delite’ is not as satisfying to say, but the soy-patty it features will no doubt be a leg up on the shredded lettuce, cucumber and tomato stuffed buns they try to pass for sandwiches currently. If any mega corporations are reading this blog in an attempt to get a better understanding of vegans, Toronto vegans are down to try all your microwaveable, junky meat-replacements and are not afraid to line-up in the snow to get it.
I was ready to tackle this article called “the vegan movement is elitist.” The title suggested the writer would be against veganism, full stop. Instead, she argues herself into a corner and ends up debunking the elitist argument without any help from me. She calls veganism a solution to our health and plant woes, and even suggests a “perfect world” would be one where everyone with access to nutritious vegan food would eat only that. So elitism is reserved for the select few who think those without access to nutrients from rice, beans, fruits, and vegetables are bad people. It’s as if people are elitist about food poverty and this is entirely unrelated to the moral imperative of not exploiting animals. Alright, Harvey Dent. There-there.
You’ve made it to the end without so much as a single nod to Star Wars. That won’t do. So in celebration of the newest release of the franchise, Solo: A Star Wars Story, feel free to order me some of these Solo frozen in carbonite vegan soaps.
It’s been a week! Go vegan, advocate for animals, and don’t let yourself fall victim to the headlines.