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April 3rd 2008

Senator Claims McCain Has Done More On Global Warming Than Gore

Filed under: politics — michael @ 5:26 pm

Let loose the dogs of absurdity! Fire up the flames of incompetence! Ladies and Gentlemen, we have someone other than Senator James Inhofe racking up the points in “Wild ‘n Wacky Quotes From U.S. Politicians”! Drum roll please…

“He’s not going to run away from President Bush but at the end of the day, John McCain has earned a reputation, and has the scars to show it, of doing things that put the country ahead of party,” Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) said, noting McCain has differed with the party on immigration, his desire to close Guantanamo Bay, and enacting robust climate change policies.

“Climate change is the road less traveled but he’s traveled it even more than Al Gore,” Graham said. “Al Gore has talked about it and deserves great recognition but he was around here a long time and never introduced a bill.”

My God! The Nobel Foundation got it all wrong! It’s actually John McCain that has done more than anyone else to draw attention to Global Warming! Of course!

As ThinkProgress points out “Gore held the first congressional hearings on climate change in the late 1970s, well before McCain was even elected to Congress.” Not to mention his work on the Kyoto Protocol, his thousands of talks on the subject, his $300 million dollar ad campaign, successful movie, books, and millions of other hours spent fighting to help educate and push the science of climate change into the collective of important social issues.

Gore hasn’t just walked the road. The man has practically built it.

But maybe we shouldn’t be so hard on Senator Lindsey. Maybe he does have a point about McCain’s environmental record.

“While Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) has touted his support for the environment throughout his presidential campaign, the League of Conservation Voters gave him a zero rating Thursday on its 2007 congressional scorecard — making him the lowest-ranking lawmaker among all 535 members of Congress. Carl Pope, executive director of the advocacy group Sierra Club, said in a statement that the senator scored lower than some lawmakers who had died in the middle of the term.”

Or not.

April 1st 2008

McCain Chooses Al Gore For Vice President

Filed under: politics — michael @ 12:45 am

In a shocking move of bipartisanship, Republican presidential candidate John McCain announced that he has decided to run with Al Gore for the 2008 ticket. The early announcement has sent shock waves around the world — with most believing he would choose Gov. Mark Sanford of South Carolina. MSNBC’s Senior Campaign Correspondent Tucker Carlson was moody about the choice. “At this stage in the game, for McCain to make this move is unbelievable”, he said. “I firmly believe he’s going to destroy the party here — we don’t need someone in the White House that’s going to push America in a new direction.”

Conservative commentator Ann Coulter was unavailable for comment after she threw herself out a third-story window and into Manhattan traffic.

Reaction on the other side of the political spectrum was mixed. Said one resident from State College, PA, “I really like Obama, but think Al Gore is completely awesome. Now what the hell am I going to do?” Aprile Pazzo, one of the founders of the grassroots site Draft Gore was equally confused. “We’re excited he’s running, but to join up with the Republican party just kind of sucks. It’s like Luke Skywalker accepting Darth Vader’s offer to join the dark side. I guess I’ll actually have to start paying attention to that old guy he’s running with.”

For his part, Al Gore offered that he would bring a fresh perspective — and new era of partnership — to the Republican party. “With today’s announcement that I’m joining John McCain for the 2008 ticket,” the former V.P. now V.P. candidate announced, “Americans everywhere can look forward to a united government that puts bickering and partisanship behind, in favor of addressing truly important economic, environmental, and social issues, working diplomatically with foreign governments, and ensuring that peace and prosperity can be something enjoyed by each and all.”

The sky then filled with rainbows, butterflies, and an original soundtrack by James Newton.

It’s worth noting that today is April 1st.

March 19th 2008

Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton And John McCain Can All Agree On One Thing…

Filed under: animals, campaigns, politics — parrish @ 10:25 am

Pop Quiz!

Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton and John McCain all have what one thing in common?

A. A fiery passion for a well-made biscotti

B. The uncanny ability to tie perfectly knotted friendship bracelets

C. A desire to ban horse meat for consumption and prohibit their export for slaughter

If you guessed C you got it right. Congratulations!

While perusing one my very favorite green blogs, I stumbled upon a post debating a bill that “amends the Horse Protection Act to prohibit the shipping, transporting, moving, delivering, receiving, possessing, purchasing, selling, or donation of horses and other equines to be slaughtered for human consumption.”

Basically here’s the deal: In the past 3 years the U.S government has pretty much banned the slaughter of horses and closed down the three primary slaughter houses associated with the trade. However, the bill wasn’t specific enough and now American horses are being brought to Mexico or Canada for butchering. The American Horse Slaughter Prevention Act would end this mess entirely.

A myriad of senators and governors are co-sponsors of the bill, including all three of the remaining presidential candidates. And on the Hollywood side, both Robert Redford and Willie Nelson are supporting the cause.

Want to help stop this totally cruel and awful practice? The Humane Society Of The United States is asking supporters to sign a petition urging congress to pass the bill! So be presidential and walk, run or gallop over to the HSUS website and voice your thoughts! Free Mr. ED!!!!!!!!!

December 13th 2007

Republican Candidates Cast Their Vote On Global Warming

Filed under: events, politics, television — parrish @ 11:18 am

On Wednesday, Carolyn Washburn, editor of the Des Moines Register and recent debate moderator, asked the current republican candidates for president to raise their hands in response to a question regarding global warming (a.k.a climate change, a.k.a that thing that is melting us). Here were some of the responses:

Fred Thompson- Hollywood actor turned politician: “I’m not doing hand shows. No hand shows.” 

John Mccain- Arizona Senator: “It’s real, we’ve got to address it, we can do it with technology, with cap and trade, with capitalist and free enterprise motivation. And I’m confident that we can pass on to our children and grandchildren a cleaner, better world.”

Rudy Giuliani- Former NYC Mayor and part-time cross-dresser: “Climate change is real. It’s happening. I believe human beings are contributing to it.” 

Mitt Romney- Former Massachusetts Governor: “It’s going to help our economy because we’re going to invest in new technologies to get ourselves off of foreign oil. And as we get ourselves off of foreign oil, we also dramatically reduce our CO2 emissions.”

Mike Huckabee- Former Arkansas Governor and weight loss expert: “But climate change and who’s causing it is of less importance…We have done no harm if we take better care of this planet and give it to our children with cleaner air, cleaner soil and cleaner water.”

Visit OnTheIssues.org to find out exactly where the candidates stand on all the issues.