Last year, in the spirit of Halloween, I treated myself to John Carpenter’s The Thing — a 1982 horror film that I’d never seen but heard plenty about. Without giving too much of the plot away, it involved a some scientists, a cold remote base, an infectious alien creature, and a fiery climactic explosion.

If I had to tell you the plot of The Thaw, I would offer almost the exact same list of ingredients. The only difference is that while The Thing had plenty of scares and tense moments, The Thaw only manages a lukewarm response. As a kind of tie-in with modern day events, instead of an alien spaceship, it’s global warming that introduces the bad guy. DVDTOWN provides the best plot summary saying,

Val Kilmer stars as a famous environmental advocate, Dr. David Kruipen, who discovers the real horror of global warming when he finds the carcass of a woolly mammoth in the polar ice that also contains a prehistoric parasite. Soon, a team of four students lands on a remote Arctic station to find Dr. Kruipen. Through a series of events, students find themselves trapped in this station trying to escape the prehistoric parasite. One by one, the parasite finds a host in this group. Running out of time, the students must find a way to escape this situation.

While a horror film, The Thaw also addresses eco-terrorism as a way of forcing humanity to live in harmony with the planet. As Derrick Jensen made clear in his “Environmentalist” version of Star Wars, there are some who believe a passive movement will in the end do nothing to change what needs to be changed. Unfortunately, the argument for this option presented in The Thaw — especially with one character — is rather weak.

Anyways, for those that hate bugs, there are definitely some squeamish moments — but nothing that will make you jump too high. Probably the best tension came from one character’s arm needing to be hacked off to prevent the infection from spreading. It rather reminded me of the “finger scene” from Tarantino’s Four Rooms.

There’s also something to say for the idea of some awful parasite being exposed as the ice sheets recede. We often talk about such things happening with the destruction of the Rainforests, but it’s interesting to imagine there might be something out there trapped and dormant and, well, deadly to the human race.

Also, I’m now fairly certain that Val Kilmer is pissed off at the world. His last two movies (see The Chaos Theory) have both focused on global warming — and him personally trying to kill people to prove a point related to it. The sale of his beloved eco-ranch isn’t going to help things either.

In conclusion, The Thaw brings an interesting concept to the table — but never really succeeds in making you too worried about it. There are some minor scares and relatively decent acting — but it’s all rather predictable. I’d recommend a weekend rental — but for my money, The Thing, is a better alternative.

When it comes to poorly received environmentally-themed movies, few rank higher than M. Night Shyamalan’s The Happening. Weak acting (Mark Wahlberg), a weak plot (attacking plants), and hilarious death scenes (lawn mower) all add up to an abysmal Tomatometer of 18%.

That was SO 2008.

Want to know how bad Val Kilmer’s latest flick, The Chaos Experiment, did? After being released in only two theaters, it went straight to DVD. The only reason people may not rank it higher than The Happening is because so few have seen it. The basic plot-line is this: Kilmer plays a scientist that’s gone a bit nutty and wants the world to hear his theory on the destructive power of global warming. The only way he knows people will read it is if it’s the main headline in a major newspaper. To do this, (and giving life to metaphors on global warrming), he rigs a steam room to trap six, conveniently sexy people, and slowly raise in temperature. The longer his crazy theory and headline stay out of the newspaper, the longer the people cook and ultimately die. And now for some review snippets:

“If movie had odor this thing would be a garbage truck on a hot summer day. Don’t waste your lunch money, or any money for that matter. I’m giving the tripe a zero, only for lack of a negative number.” — Reviewer over on Rotten Tomatoes

“What we have here is a movie that combines the politics of Al Gore’s An Inconvenient Truth with the torture porn tendencies of the Saw series (specifically cribbing plot points from Saw 2).  In short, The Chaos Experiment stinks.  It boggles the mind that this idea ever made it past the screenplay stage.” — Richard LaFashia Jr., Examiner.com

“Don’t waste your time or your money. I LOVE Val Kilmer and I almost cried at how bad this movie was. The ending, especially, is so stupid.” — Reviewer on Amazon.com

Have you seen The Chaos Experiment? Are you now intrigued to find out how bad it may actually be? Let us know!

Word out this evening is that Val Kilmer is selling his 6,000-acre ranch near Santa Fe for $33 million. The 49-year-old actor has lived in New Mexico more than two decades and has had the ranch about 13 years.

We imagine this has to be kind of a bummer for him. We’ve written a bunch in the past about the beautifully designed treehouse on the property he had created from recycled and sustainable materials — as well as plans for a massive high-end ecovillage. “It says something that almost 100 percent of the people who come here just feel good,” he said in a 2006 interview.”There’s a right-ness to developing a community that interacts with the local one. I have to develop it because otherwise it’s really wasting the land.”

Kilmer’s original business plan was to develop high-priced homes, constructed with indigenous materials (adobe, wood, and stone for natural insulation and heat), and featuring solar panels and a windmill system. Each house would be required by its “members” to have its own government-certified organic garden; its fruits would go to a co-op.

It’s unclear what the actor might do next — though rumors are swirling he may make a run for Governor of New Mexico next year. While speaking to a reporter from his treehouse in 2007 he said, “In places like this, I can figure out what I’m all about.” With a price tag now on his beloved property, I guess he’s ready to take that next step.

>>Click here for more details and a slideshow of Kilmer’s property.

Val Kilmer

Called The Steam Experiment, it features Kilmer playing a scientists that’s gone a bit nutty and wants the world to hear his theory on the destructive power of global warming. The only way he knows people will read it is if it’s the main headline in a major newspaper. To do this, (and giving life to metaphors on global warrming), he rigs a steam room to trap six, conveniently sexy people, and slowly raise in temperature. The longer his crazy theory and headline stay out of the newspaper, the longer the people cook and ultimately die.

Just like Kilmer’s other upcoming flick, The Thaw, this trailer does very little justice to what might actually be a cool movie. Fingers crossed — especially since it also stars Armand Assante and Eric Roberts.

Val Kilmer’s latest obscure movie comes to us in The Thaw, an eco-horror tale where climate change is the catalyst for unleashing a frozen threat.

We finally have our first peek at the flick with a trailer that goes about 30 seconds too long and basically sums up everything you figured this movie was about. We’re also pretty sure that Kilmer’s character is one of the first to “bite” it, since he doesn’t show up past the first minute of preview goodness. Still, the concept of some killer bug emerging from a frozen woolly mammoth is kind of intriguing. And there are explosions. And polar bears. And stupid people that touch things they shouldn’t.

So, we’ll call it a solid “rental”.

Back in May, it was announced

There were those that were suspicious whether or not this film would ever get made — but it looks like we’re now in for a 2009 release. Smallville’s Aaron Ashmore recently commented on the flick saying, “It’s an eco-thriller, something’s basically melting up in the north and they’re doing research up there and stumble on it.” That something is the deadly parasite. “Do we let it go,” he continued, “and have hundreds of thousands of people die yet change everybody’s opinion of global warming? Or, do we quarantine it and save lives? It’s a moral dilemma.”

Adding to that choice is the revealing info that Val Kilmer plays a former eco-terrorist. Obviously, his character’s opinion on the world’s need for environmental stewardship might weigh heavily on the outcome.

Should be a good scare — look for The Thaw sometime in 2009!

But on a more serious note: here at Ecorazzi we’re curious about Kilmer from an environmental standpoint. What eco-qualifications does this dude posses?

RedGreenAndBlue.org points out that Kilmer owns a 6,000 acre ranch near Sante Fe and raises the more environmentally friendly type of animal: bison. Ugh…okay Kilmer, but I need more than that. On his website, Val shows his more charitable side.  Val says, “the Wildlife Center is a charity that I have donated to for over ten years. We have released over one hundred wild animals on our wilderness retreat that Dr. Ramsey has PERSONALLY treated. Please check it out.”

Finally, one could assume that Kilmer at least believes in global warming (again, unlike Palin) by his recent decision to star in two movies with global warming tie-ins – The Thaw, and The Steam House.

So what do you think Ecorazzi readers? Is Kilmer green enough for your vote? Chime in and share your thoughts!

Jeesh — doesn’t this guy know about blogging?

Filming has already started and The Steam Experiment is expected to fog up theaters next year. Look for Kilmer’s other global warming-themed film The Thaw to also hit in 2009.

Interested in some of the other green-themed movies that have or will be coming out soon? Check out our gallery below!

Moving ever-forward on their quest to recycle every 80s classic television show for the big screen, the entertainment industry has announced the development of films based on The Smurfs and Fraggle Rock. Depending on how this all turns out, it could be either mind-blowingly awesome or simply another smack to your inner-child’s appreciation for these fine franchises. 

For a moment, let’s talk green themes. It’s all the rage — from Val Kilmer battling previously-frozen global warming parasites to a cute animated robot searching for electronic love and the key to removing pollution on planet Earth. Hell, even Cameron Diaz is lobbying for Shrek 4 to go green beyond the ogre! So, there are reasons to believe. Let’s tick ‘em off. 

 The Smurfs live in mushrooms. Some innovative students in the real world have recently created home insulation made from Oyster mushrooms. We think we know where their inspiration came from…

 There’s a smurf called Nat Smurf that can talk to animals and “loves all things to do with nature and the environment.” 

Gargamel and his cat Azrael hates the Smurfs and everything about them — which we assume includes their love for eco-friendly insulation, vegetarian lifestyle, and forest-loving ways. 

According to Wikipedia, Fraggles explore “complex issues of prejudice, spirituality, personal identity, environment, and social conflict.” TOTAL. HIPPIES.

Fraggles live in a natural system of caves and are complete vegans; with a culinary love for radishes.

The Trash Heap, also know as The Oracle (try to keep up), appears to be a giant compost pile. Rockin’!

Ok, I’m going to stop geeking out — but from the above, you can see why both films might embrace some shades of eco-friendly green. Ultimately, I have the most hope for Fraggle Rock, since it’s reported that The Smurfs will be made into some kind of live-action, CGI hybrid — just like Alvin and the Chipmunks. Pass.

One one final note: To the movie industry, please leave Duck Tales and Chip and Dale: Rescue Rangers well enough alone. They are sacred. I wouldn’t mind, however, a fully-animated, feature-film Pinky and the Brain. Thanks! 

We understand that most of our readers were yacht-bound this week for the Cannes Film Festival in France. So, in an effort to keep you informed on the latest green gos, here’s a breakdown of some of the highlights from last week.

We launched a cool contest to party with Ludacris and Tommy Lee at the final taping of Planet Green’s Battleground Earth.

Rapper DMX pulled a Michael Vick.

Madonna pulled an Oprah.

Pierce Brosnan celebrated his 55th birthday this week and revealed that he’s donated over $1 million to various environmental initiatives over the years. He’s also really good at composting.

Heather Mills’s divorce settlement may have cost McCartney an arm and a leg, but she’s certainly not interested in passing on the limb-love to those previously promised aid.

Space robots love cats. Even if they’re not robot cats. From space.

Indiana Jones’ crystal skulls may look great in your goth-themed kitchen — but did you know they may also save the world?

Louis Vuitton decided a lawsuit was the best way to get involved with the Darfur crisis.

FOX News concluded that Al Gore is the reason for high food prices. And cancer.

Edward Norton went off to Washington to discuss sustainable building. If Inhofe had been in the room, we would have seen a live-action preview of Norton’s upcoming HULK movie. SMASH!

You voted for our Today Show urban hippie couple, right?

Val Kilmer is planning on battling global warming bugs, while Adrian Grenier embraced his new show, Alter Eco, and green squeeze Isabel Lucas.