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PETA’s Shocking Superbowl Ad Isn’t So Shocking

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PETA presented a Superbowl advertisement for consideration using their typical hypersexual methods, and in a surprise to no one, the commercial was given a no-go. The commercial, entitled “Last Longer,” shows two fit and skinny couples having a go at it (it’s pretty much porn, and super NSFW) and while the vegan couple continues loudly screwing through the entire clip, the man in the non-vegan couple calls it quits early. He then walks outside and is crushed by a falling air-conditioning unit.

You can’t make this shit up, folks. According to PETA, going vegan makes it possible to have sex for way longer with no actual science to back this one up. This isn’t proven stuff like cock rings, which help keep men going longer by stopping the blood from flowing out of their dick (it’s not as painful as it sounds)… Sure, vegans may reap the benefits of physical fitness if they so choose, but I’ve met vegan runners who race to the finish with the same gusto as they would on a racetrack. Let’s not get it twisted, folks, go vegan to save animals, not as a desperate attempt to salvage your sex life (if your sex life needs saving, Googling the word “clitoris” is a pretty good place to begin).

I mean, come on, do we really think they ever intended to make it to air, or is this just the latest in a never-ending series of inane publicity stunts? I think we all know the answer to that.

PETA defenders may say that sex sells, but with animal slaughter even higher than it was when PETA was founded in 1980, I’m starting to think that the organization just likes getting their own rocks off.

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  • Heather Moore

    It’ll attract attention whether it airs or not. A lot of men are probably already thinking about eating more vegan foods. That’s a good thing!

  • Jennofur OConnor

    Clever – and thought provoking!

  • Rose Louise

    Actually, the science shows that cholesterol-heavy foods like meat and dairy can potentially clog arteries, and those arteries determine blood flow to every body part. Eating a variety of tasty vegan foods can help boost your health, sexual or otherwise.

  • Craig Shapiro

    Give PETA points. They made you look. Now, pay attention. Go vegan. Get more fiber. Clean those arteries. Enjoy the benefits of unimpeded blood flow.

  • Kim Marie

    I like the ad. Caring about your health, the environment and animals is sexy.

  • Lucy_P

    If saving 100 animals a year, shrinking your environmental footprint, and having more energy weren’t good enough reasons to go vegan, this added benefit should make the decision a no-brainer!

  • Paula Renee

    Well, it makes sense that men who eat healthy vegan foods would have more strength and stamina!

  • Annoyed by Paleofraud

    ED is a symptom of arteriosclerosis caused by a high saturated fat, high protein, low fiber diet based on animal flesh. The disease that blocks off the arteries to your heart can block off the arteries to many organs. Think of it as God’s punishment for murder.

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