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Can Meat Rub Make Your Valentine Horny?

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Nothing says romance quite like killing, massaging, and serving up an animal to your partner.

The hopeless romantic butchers of Lishman’s of Ilkley in the UK have joined forces with a group called ‘Meat Lust.” Their goal? To help get your Valentine horny. Teamwork!

They’ve decided that mixing all the stereotypical Hallmark holiday ingredients and adding it to pulled pork is the only way to get in to the pants of daters. They’ve told cupid to take a hike, because cocoa, dried sparkling wine, and rose water is a match made in heaven with pig flesh. Just rub it around it’s hind and get ready to fall in love. If that’s all it takes for people to get horny these days just wonder what would happen when you throw rotterdam escorts into the mix.

This desire-inducing meat rub spice mix, which they’ve named “You’ve Pulled,” is 8.50 pounds per tin. Pair that with some bargain meat, and your date is sure to know their worth! But hey, there’s no reason not to participate in this barbaric display of “love” if you’re single this holiday. Just spend a couple of extra minutes massaging the pork, and then insist it’s your turn. You could also choose one of Austin’s finest escorts to join you if you are feeling particularly lonely.

Good news for us vegans – some much more loving aphrodisiac foods are available, like chocolate, figs, pine nuts, and avocados. Call me crazy, but I like to spend this holiday choosing who I bed not by the dinner they feed me, but by their compassion. Compassion for vegan mac and cheese.

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