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Weirdos Are Milking Cows at Night to Make Sleep Promoting “Night Milk”

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Scientists at Sahmyook University, in Seoul don’t think a glass of warm milk before bed is enough, they’re looking to prove that milk manufactured at night  produces sedative and anxiety-inhibiting effects.

Yup, nocturnal or night milk is now it’s own thing, opposite the day milk everyone has already been ridiculously drinking. Published in the Journal of Medicinal Food, they’ve done a study on lab rats and mice with results that suggest night milk contains sleep-promoting ingredients like amino acid tryptothan and melatonin. Naturally, some businesses are already looking at it from a revenue perspective.

Milchkristalle GmbH in Munich beat everyone to it,  producing nocturnal cows’ milk since 2010. ‘Nachtmilch Kristalle,’ or ‘night milk crystals,’ is made from milking cows in the dark. They live under a strict light regime, being outdoors or under UV during the day and long-wave red light the rest of the time. The contrast produces melatonin – but who knows what it does to the cows psyche. They’re also fed a diet rich in lucerne and alfalfa, in a facility they consider “stress free.” Then, they freeze-dry the subsequent baby-calf formula in to crystals that are sold to be stirred into drinks. All the extra fuss for farmers put out makes the milk more expensive, so it’s clear this is just another way to further commodify cows.

When counting sheep doesn’t work, is our best alternative to impregnate cows, steal their calves, milk them to exhaustion, and then send them to slaughter? I find it particularly strange to call this “non-prescription” food product not medicine, as no one has claimed night milk has any less antibiotics already in it than day milk. Call me crazy, but I like to consider what’s keeping me awake at night instead of masking it.

Producing milk in the cover of darkness doesn’t hide the fact that humans continue to find new ways to use animals selfishly. Go vegan instead, and the guilt of killing animals won’t keep you up at night!

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