I’m calling it now: Stem Cell Burgers are bad news
The minute news dropped about the new stem cell meat products that will be coming to shelves sooner than we possibly thought, I had a ton of non-vegan and vegan friends alike asking me if this was something I would be willing to consume. Nope. Super gross. Flesh is flesh, meat is meat, and I don’t do that shit. On this day, I, Lauren-Elizabeth, would like to record my predictions for how the “save the world” meat is going to end up as bad news. Of course, some of these could be totally off, as they’re musings I’ve rolled around in my head during Metro delays and in the shower, but I’m sure I’ll be checking back on this list in the future. I’ll see you in the comments section. Let’s make it a date! With that, here’s where I’m hedging my bets:
- Stem Cell Meat is going to be REALLY expensive on purpose, and add to class divides.
I have this awful feeling in my gut that the price of this more “ethical” meat is going to be sky-high, not unlike the difference in prices we see from “humanely” slaughtered meat and regular old flesh. As opposed to products such as cell phones and computers that originally came with a high price tag that eventually lowered, (trust me, there’s already been a spirited debate among the staff about this topic!) I don’t see this happening with a product that has the great potential to be advertised as morally “better.” Scientists have good intentions, but scientists are rarely behind marketing campaigns. The product will be purposely limited in production as to enforce a high price in it, and a bunch of high and mighty upper-class liberals are going to brag incessantly about their ethical consumption. It will be a luxury that is painted as a kinder choice, and add to the class divide that we already see in the United States. Advertisements will show nice upper middle class families smiling around the dinner table, and the prices will reflect the Whole Foods mentality that My Meat is Kinder Than Your Meat, and Poor People Hate Animals. Is this me being a little paranoid? Maybe. I’ve just inherited a healthy distrust of government and American society like any nice leftist girl next door!
- Stem cell meat is going to slow down the vegan revolution we’re all waiting for.
You know that short attention span thing we have going on in Westernized countries? The whole “we did it guys! Fixed it! Problem over!” mentality we fall into? Yeah, that’s what I anticipate, attention leaves animal exploitation because The Solution has been developed and we all live happily ever after with our petri dish steaks while dairy cows continue to suffer. Already, folks have tried to shut me down by dropping the cell beef bomb, and I’m just not buying it as a distraction. There are SO many ways that humans are exploiting animals, and I really do think that stem cell meat is serving as nothing but a distraction.
- Think of all the weird religious and hippie stuff that’s going to come out of it!
I love my crunchies, I really do. You’re some of my favorite folks and have encouraged me more than once to rock the patchouli, but there is a fascination with what is “natural” and what isn’t. If someone won’t consume GMO’s, what makes us think they’re going to be down with meat produced from a lab? There’s zero denying that the idea of sprouting meat in a lab is peculiar, and there’s a certain population who I just don’t see being receptive to lab coats being the new coveralls in animal agriculture. And I wish these scientists the best of luck to winning over a religious population that wants things to be The Way That God Intended. Holy water isn’t made in a lab, friends.
- What’s going to happen to calves and egg laying chickens?
The biggest byproduct of the egg and dairy industries is life itself. I definitely sounded a bit like a GOP frontrunner talking about women’s rights, but here we are! Egg laying chickens go to slaughter when they’re all used up. Calves go to slaughter because they’re unnecessary. Dried-up cows past their prime? Yup, slaughter. So, if we imagine an alternate world where I was wrong in the first prediction and stem cell meat is produced en masse, what kind of hellish plan will farmers come up with to “get rid of” excessive animal life? Yikes, I shudder to think of that.
Alright, friends, as I said before, I could be off-base with this list of ideas, so I invite a larger discussion. The future is upon us and looking more like a sci-fi movie every day, so let’s talk it out!