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Is Gorilla Milk coming to the US?

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Either Barnana are experts at marketing, or this is a really bad idea.

Food Bev Media shared a press released from the company, unveiling the launch of “Gorilla Milk.” The banana-based snack company will introduce the US’ “first ever” grass-fed, raw primate milk at the Natural Products Expo West on March 12th. For now, they’re inviting curious consumers to sign up for their mailing list, to be the first to see how gorilla’s are milked.

Announcing Gorilla Milk! A nutritionally dense milk from Western Lowland Gorillas. By purchasing Barnana Gorilla Milk you are directly contributing to efforts to save and repopulate the wild habitat of the gorilla. 🍼🙉💪🏻 HOW DO YOU MILK A GORILLA? Find out on March 12th at 5PM PST by signing up for our exclusive email list at barnana.com/gorillamilk Link in our profile. #expowest #expowest2016 #barnana #explorebarnana

A photo posted by Barnana (@eatbarnana) on

If you’ve starting singing never gonna give you up, you’re on the right track here. With Barnana Gorilla Milk sales contributing to World WildLife Funds efforts to save and repopulate the wild habitat of the gorilla, it’s unlikely this funky-bunch are holding anyone captive, let alone celebrating it.

Still, in the release, CEO Caue Suplicy said: “After spending time with western lowland gorillas in Africa, seeing their wild habitat being destroyed and after having the privilege to milk one myself – I am excited to bring mother gorillas’ milk to market for human consumption and save the lives of gorillas and their wild habitat.” Hmmm.

The supposably nutrient dense milk will come out in squeezable pouches, but not before this mystery is revealed. With no prominent vegan labelling on the packaging released yet, we’re going to err on the side of caution and avoid the whole mess until Ashton Kutcher runs out and yells “PUNK’D!”

Edited to have Ashton Kutcher yell PUNK’D instead of the inappropriate “PRANKED” I originally wrote, forgetting the oh-so-famous 2003 show.

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0 Comments
  • Shauna

    Ashton Kutcher has never yelled “PRANKED”. Clearly you have never actually seen “PUNK’D”….

    • Eva

      I knew it sounded off hahaha! Good catch.

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