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Coca Cola wants to turn you into a fancy milk drinker

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Apart from the fact that milk comes from unwilling cows who are forced to give up their babies for slaughter, milk is fucking gross. Have you ever seen a grown-ass man drinking a full glass of milk? Picture it. It makes him look like a weird man-baby, and it’s all made worse that he’s not the baby it’s intended for! Milk has no match when it comes to the absolutely disgusting. Well-adjusted people simply don’t drink milk by itself, however, Coca Cola has decided that for whatever reason, it’s time to change that!

The Coca Cola company is set on creating a nation of milk-drinking baby people. “The beverage company has teamed up with dairy cooperative Fairlife to distribute an “ultra-filtered” milk product that has 50% more protein and half as much sugar as regular milk. After rolling it out slightly over a year ago, Fairlife sales have reportedly hit around $90 million, and specialty milk sales across the industry jumped more than 20%, as Coke aims to turn the beverage into a billion-dollar brand, according to Bloomberg,” reports Fortune.

At only $4 a bottle, the Fairlife milk is about the same price as a very fancy kombucha, but comes complete with baby stealing and cow abuse. Bottoms up, or not!

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