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Who gives a shit if ‘Paula Deen Goes Vegan’ for one cooking show episode?

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No one should be excited to learn that the butter queen has decided to cook vegan food on TV.

2 Paragraphs was excited to share that as part of her newest cooking program, Positively Paula, the Southern chef is hopping on the vegan bandwagon and trying desperately to expand her audience. They consider it “spicing things up” to call episode 5 “Paula Goes Vegan,” likely hijacking the word vegan because saying “we can’t just serve fried chicken in all 26 episodes” was a mouthful.

All things considered, the fat-laden, calorie-dense, and viscerally greasy animal products she fries up on most episodes are likely a better advocate for vegan food than whatever boring produce she’ll likely plate up for this special occasion (someone should tell her there’s vegans butter). Amidst anecdotes about the vegetables she’s been forced to eat, let’s just pray she doesn’t predictably say that a) she’s an animal lover, b) that she could go vegan but, or c) that it’s good idea to eat vegan when your producers tell you that it’s the sort of PR that will distract people from remembering that you’re a flagrant racist and anti-semitic.

Will seeing Paula cook vegan food change how her regular viewers understand veganism? Of course not. It’ll just have vegans like us tuning in and posting about it. I recommend not celebrating this shallow display of marketing as proof that veganism is one step further to world domination. It would be like celebrating Meatless One-Day replacing that already futile Meatless Monday.

Call us when Paula Deen actually decides to go vegan.

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