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Dallas is afraid of a little vegan brisket

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If you’re still flip-flopping on a Halloween costume, dressing up like a slab of vegan brisket will apparently give people the creeps.

Eater reports that the arrival of V-Eats Modern Vegan restaurant to the city, and one dish they offer in particular, has driven traditional barbecue lovers to absolutely lose their shit. Across social platforms including one local newspaper’s Facebook page, twitter, and those paper tablecloths that are so fun to draw on at barbecue joints, people reacted to vegan seitan-based brisket by depicting the ten stages of grief to a tee.

It started with “HELL 2 DA NAW!!! You can’t be serious…” kind of shock, progressed to “Why do vegans gotta ruin everything?” emotions, and obviously hit “Get the hell out of my state” levels of anger. It’s a long road to acceptance, but this is a great anthropology lesson in real time, anyway. 

Poor, poor Dallas. Have you been shown that you don’t need animals to make a mean barbecue? Is everything you hold sacred and dear revealed to be untrue? Relax, there’s still the smokey, sticky, and sweet qualities of sauce and spices that makes any brisket memorable. Give it a try, use a wet nap to dry your tears, and realize that no amount of bullying is going to make veganism disappear. 

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